Dining Etiquette: When You Feel Like "Pretty Woman" at a Fancy Dinner

Mix (64th floor of THEhotel), Las Vegas
I had the pleasure of committing a few dining faux pas here during a birthday dinner.
Photo courtesy of Google image.

I was inspired to write this entry by recent discussion over dining etiquette on a dinner date. As a girl who has been fortunate enough to dine at many upscale restaurants, I would like to share with my audience some things I learned from my dinning experiences as well as from an etiquette class I once took. I want to save you from the blunders and embarrassments I have had to live down.

Of course we all know not to speak with our mouths full, keep our elbows off the table and not slouch, but here are some very important etiquette that can be easily overlooked:

1. Wear appropriate attire. Keep in mind your company, the venue and the purpose of the dinner. 

I wore a sexy little black dress with patented leather stilettos to one of the fanciest restaurants in the country. My company was a friend I knew very well and the purpose of the dinner was because we were hungry for gourmet food. We were also in Las Vegas, so I wore a sexy dress to dinner in case we went out afterwards. I totally felt inappropriate. 

2. Sitting down (and standing up). Wait until the people of higher ranking or seniority are seated before you seat yourself. What exactly does that mean? Your significant other's parents, your boss and the Queen gets to be seated first. When these people stand up, you must also rise. I'm sure most of you know this already, but when a lady gets up, the gentlemen should as well. I hope none of you eat somewhere fancy with a lady who has bladder issues (hmm...this would make a great Detrol LA or Toviaz commericial)! 

3. The napkin. Either allow the server to place it on your lap or do it yourself. The napkin stays in your lap, do not tuck it like a bib. If you have to get up in the middle of dinner, loosely fold the napkin and set it on either side of your plate. Here's an interesting factoid! I read somewhere that the purpose of the napkin is to shield your lap from spills and NOT for wiping your face. Is anyone else aware of this?!

This invention is awesomely tacky! I love it!

4. Bread and butter. Remove from the community butter dish the amount you intend to use to abstain from going back and forth between your plate and the community dish (and prevent contamination of the community butter). When buttering your bread, tear the bread into bite size pieces and butter each piece one bite at time. This will prevent you from ungracefully shoving a piece of buttered bread into your face. Apparently, we can't use napkins to wipe butter off our face anyway! 

My companion brought this butter etiquette to my attention. I do this already because I get grossed out by the contamination factor of sharing butter-- I never knew it was an actual etiquette! 

5. Know the table setting. 

Remember to leave each item in its place. I made the mistake of moving
the bread plate closer to me, so I wouldn't have reach. The server continuously
moved my bread plate back to it's original position every time he passed by to
refill my bread. Embarrassing!! 

6. Eating. 

a. Spoon soup away from you and tip it towards you when you eat. When picking up food with a fork, do it with the tines facing down. 

I don't get the whole spoon away from you thing. My date suggested that if you repeatedly spoon towards yourself, it could seem like you are shoveling food in your face (like you're absolutely starving), not the least bit elegant. 

b. Cut food with the knife in your right hand the hold the food down with the fork (tines down) in your left hand. After you have sliced off a few pieces, place the knife down and transfer the fork to your right hand and begin eating. Chew. Swallow. Repeat. (Caveat, you are right handed). 

c. If eating a piece of meat, do not cut up the entire piece of meat into bite size pieces all at once. I have never seen this done, but if you are guilty of such atrocity, cut it out!

d. Eat as elegantly as you can. Don't make rude noises such as slurping sounds. 

e. Do not do the following at the table: blow your nose, apply makeup, use a toothpick. 

I am guilty of reapplying lip gloss at the table. It takes 5 seconds to reapply and a hundred times longer to leave the table. 

f. If you have to cough, cover with your napkin (the napkin will also help stifle the cough). 

g. If you have to go to the bathroom, just say "Excuse/Pardon me." Don't say I'm going to the bathroom-- people are eating, they don't need the imagery. 

The above list is by no means all encompassing. I strongly feel that if you follow the above general guidelines, you will be safe dining formally. If you ever dine with me, I will probably not adhere to all the rules at all times. I will, however, promise that you will be in the presence of a very neat and polite diner. 

What dining etiquette rules have you broken? Any good etiquettes you like to share?