Reasons I Love Him #1

I love him for his appreciation of the simple things in life. 

My boyfriend was getting in late one night due to a delayed flight, so I surprised with him with the boeuf bourguignon I ordered from a popular local French bistro. He enjoyed the meal and appreciated that I went out of my way to get him such a fine dinner.  

Bon appetit! 

A few months later, I picked him up from his brother's 30th birthday party where he spent the majority of the night drinking with the guys. I asked if he wanted to stop somewhere for food and he replied, "You've already taken time out of your night to come get me. I can't ask you for anything else. I am perfectly happy just heading home." I grabbed a brown paper bag from the backseat that contained a couple orders of two for $1 tacos I got from a fast food chain, put it in his lap and said, "You don't have to ask for anything, I already got you covered."

Who knew love can exist in greasy tacos??

As he opened the bag with a big grin on his face, I added, "Don't worry, I asked them to throw in the hot sauce and buttermilk packs because I know that's how you eat your cheap tacos especially after late night drinking.I also got you a soda too."

He turned to me, cupped my face with one hand and said, "I am so happy. I freaking love you right now!" I found his response both hilarious and endearing. 

I love that he appreciates the little things in life. I love that he puts more value in me remembering what he likes over something fancy I can buy him. 

Who knew that cheap two for $1 tacos can win out over gourmet boeuf bourguignon? Julia Child is probably rolling in her grave! 

The Sexiest Item In My Wardrobe

"From your cradle via trousseau to your deathbed you are on view, so never compromise, except no substitute." -lyrics from Aida, by Elton John & Tim Rice

After four consecutive days of shopping in New York City, I ended up with a new and beautiful wardrobe. I arrived on the island of Manhattan with one suitcase and departed with two! As I mentally listed my latest exciting purchases, I discovered the most precious item in my entire arsenal of fabulous fashion. It's definitely better than an Hermes Birkin bag and took much longer to acquire.

I wore this hot little number all over the Upper East Side. I strutted in it up and down 5th and Madison Avenue, where fashion royalties reside. I received whistles, hoots and hollers, pleasant compliments, double takes and best of all, approving nods and smiles from the ladies inside Prada. Unlike my other accessories, this stunner goes with everything and always takes my style to new heights. My shawl of confidence, I'll try to never leave home without it!

I'm a firm believer that the man or in my case, the woman makes the clothes. I wore a dress I never had the courage to wear because of a nagging sense of self consciousness that I couldn't seem to shake. I decided to wear this dress in New York City because I wanted to premiere it
on a bigger stage than my hometown. I was nervous before going out the door, but as soon as I
draped that shawl of confidence over my shoulders, I was ready to go. I was determined to rock
it out, own it and in the words of the wise Tim Gunn, "Make it work!"

Head up. Shoulders down and back. Stand up straight. Relax. Smile. Breathe. Carry on. Carry on
like you belong because you do!

In the midst of all the prancing and showing off my proverbial peacock tailfeathers, my heels
got caught in a crack on the sidewalk and I tripped. I caught myself, shopping bags still in
hand and threw my head back in delightful laughter as I bent over to adjust my black leather
peep-toe heels. I must say, when it's genuine confidence, it feels like nothing can deter me.
This stuff is just so good!

I came to NYC with a bruised and heavy heart, but this magical city made me feel so alive and rejuvenated. The time away allowed me to look inward and be able to appreciate everything I
have going for me that I took for granted. It allowed me to see inner beauty and tap into my
confidence, the confidence we all have that sometimes gets pushed down by external and
internal forces. I'm leaving with more vigor and new found happiness. I must also remember,
like clothes and especially the expensive, delicate kind, I must treat my shawl of confidence
with really good care. I wish it came with "how to care for" instructions, but I guess it's
something I'll have to figure out. Perhaps something along the lines of, "Do not let anyone
tumble dry it. Only wash with like confidences. Do not bleach."

I plan to wear it and wear it well. I hope to see you strut out and about in yours too! If you got it, flaunt it!

Cheers and happy styling and high profiling,
Phuong

Top 10 Things I Want In A Man: A List Created at 30,000 Feet

Oh, the beauty of commercial aviation! On a flight out to San Diego, I endured the sound of babies yelping like strangled banshees 2 rows ahead and the sight of a middle-aged newly wed couple making out like hormonally charged teenagers to my right. Between the auditory assault and the vomit-center stimulating visuals, a thought occurred to me: is there a chance of baby or marriage in my future?

This isn't the first time this question came up in the last week. During dinner the other night, a friend asked me, "What do you estimate the percentage of you getting married or having children are?" This question caught me off guard. As I was ruminating over the idea of my future, with my fancy $1 burger in one hand a beer in the other, I kept drawing a blank. I am not one to invest time into things I don't have control over. Things such as falling in love with another sentient being. Falling in love so hard it makes me want to play host to another life for 9 months. After some cerebral stimulation, I answered in the most honest and elegant way I can, "Dude, I have no frickin' clue."

After realizing I had forgotten my headphones and having no desire to reread the Sky Mall (out of fear I might be too interested in the Harry Potter collector items), I decided to address the question about my future.

I am a mere one quarter century old and I am still able to be extremely selective when it comes to men. Yes, I have been told my criteria are borderline ridiculous, but I know what I want and I believe in dreaming big. I am also starting to wonder how my criteria might change with time, when I am a third or half a century old. How might they change when the selection of single men dwindle? Should I start streamlining my checklist now?

I am a self-proclaimed efficient suitcase packer. No matter where I go and no matter for how long, it doesn't take me more than 30 minutes to pack. I know what the essentials are. I know what things can be purchased later on during the trip. So what are the essential qualities of life time partner?

We have all played that game where we buy clothing that don't perfectly fit us because it looks great on the mannequin or because it is on sale. We have told ourselves we will lose the extra weight or have the dress taken in later on and everything will be fine. What percentage of those not-so-perfect-from-the-beginning pieces do we wear all the time? Or are the price tags still on them as they hang in the back of our closets reminding us of the lie we sold ourselves?

I don't settle when it comes to clothing. Why would I settle when it comes to the man I want to spend the rest of my life with? There are just essential qualities about a person that you can't wish to develop later on in life. That imperfect piece of clothing will never fit you unless some major drastic changes are made. Do you dare take that gamble? I've rolled dice. I played and lost. Lesson learned.

I made two columns on the back of my plane ticket - one for my current criteria list and one for my streamlined-these-are-the-essentials list:

Current checklist (nothing specific, in no particular order)
1. Physical chemistry
2. Intellectual chemistry
3. Emotional chemistry
4. Be financially secure and savvy
5. Have morals and core values congruent to mine
(i.e. honesty, love for family, respect for others etc.)
6. Live a similar lifestyle (i.e. non-smoker, physically fit)
7. Share interests in similar activities (a man I can take anywhere)
8. Is in love with me
9. Can grow with me
10. Desire to be educated and cultured & is proactive about achieving such desire

Stream-lined list
The exact same as above

I don't believe in settling. Why should I aim lower just because the selection pool narrows decades down the line? I also don't believe that I can cut anything out in my list. Perhaps it will take a really long time to find Mr. Perfect-For-Me, but when and if we do meet, he will be worth the wait. If I don't find him, then I don't. I'd rather be comfortable naked than have to spend my precious time donning something that doesn't fit and doesn't make me feel vivacious (I might also have to look into nudist colonies). I still don't know what the chances are when it comes to me, marriage and a baby carriage. Perhaps the odds are against me? No matter what these unknown statistics are, I plan on sticking to what I know and I what I want.

What are your essential criteria? Do you think they will change with time?

Housewarming Registry: Really?!! What Do You Think?

My new home, sweet home!
(But not for another 2 weeks!) 

I frolicked into my beloved Sur la Table this weekend to pick up an automatic ice cream maker in red. A staff member there remembered me and asked how things were going. I told her that I had just purchased a new home, was in need of many items and that she'll be seeing more of me soon. The lovely staff member then suggested that I create a housewarming registry so that my friends and family can help me purchase the things I needed or wanted.

A very perplexed look crossed my face. Wedding and baby registry? OK. But a housewarming registry? When I think of housewarming presents I think of small plants, bottles of wine or some kind of food. Perhaps we no longer live in the simple good old days. 

As a typical Libra, I mulled over the idea of a housewarming registry as I gleefully perused the rest of Sur la Table. 

Pros:

1. Your friends and family probably want to buy you something and might not know what you need, what you already have, your color scheme, etc. You would be saving them time! 

2. If your friends and family know what you want, you won't end of up with plants you'll end up killing (maybe that's just me) or stuff you don't even want. 

3. Not having to deal with gifts you have no use for that will take up room in your basement/garage. 

4. I might never get married or have a baby. This might be my only chance at a registry! And who doesn't like getting stuff?

Cons:

1. Housewarming parties should be like Thanksgiving - you just show up, eat, drink and be merry.

2. Your friends may feel obligated to get you stuff they didn't think they'd have to get you in the first place. 

3. People with busy lives are taking time out to check out your new home and put up with you bragging about your new digs and talking incessantly about how your floor is hardwood, counters are granite, blah, blah, blah. Do they need to take more time out to bother with your registry?

4. This registry idea just simply sounds foreign. 

What do you think? Housewarming registry- yea or nay? 

Can't Sleep With the Man Who Dims My Shine: The Gaga Lyric that Inspired Me

I'm shiny and I know it! 

During my 2 months hiatus from the blog, I was faced with the question "What is your personal brand?" I wasn't sure at first how to answer this question. I am still working on it, but a Gaga lyric (of all things) helped me get closer. 

Think of the strong brands out there. Think of their slogans, what they stand for, their appeal and recognition. 

Just Do It - Nike

Because You're Worth It- L'Oreal

A Diamond is Forever- DeBeers

Companies spend an enormous amount of money on creating and building up awareness for their brands and attaching meanings them. Branding goes beyond slogans and into trademarks, images, symbols, etc. Whatever the method of branding, a strong brand elicits consumer trust and loyalty along with a positive perception. For example, Coke drinkers will not be caught dead with a Pepsi in their hands and vice versa. 

During a women's leadership conference, I was asked the question, "What is your brand? How strong is your brand?" 

I am only 25 years old and I am still developing my personal brand. A solid brand takes years to hone. I have devoted the past year to learning about myself, pushing myself out of my comfort zone and standing on my own. I have pushed myself physically by challenging myself to things like running a half marathon, racing up 40 flights of stairs and learning how to grapple on the ground. I have pushed myself emotionally by allowing myself to be vulnerable and letting others in even at the cost of getting my feelings hurt. 

Through it all, I have learned that I am independent, free thinking and that I have to strength to endure and overcome obstacles. I also learned that I do not want to settle for second best. There were times when I have been enveloped by the quick sand of being comfortable and started to settle for the status quo because it's easier than fighting my way of the sinking hole. I will surely step into this quick sand over and over again, but I now know I have the ability to recognize when I'm in one of those situations. I am confident I will always have the strength to dig and crawl my way out it, be it a bad relationship or a bad situation at work. I am confident I will build a brand that will be synonymous with everything I strive to be. A brand that stands for elegance in strength and genuineness. 

Self improvement is not done without difficulty. It is rough (and sometimes, I like it rough). Just do it. Because you're worth it. And when you achieve it, it lasts forever. 

Establish your brand. Discover your self worth. Discover your shine and refuse to have anything or anyone dim it. 

Under Pressure (15 PSI To Be Exact): How a Cooker Revolutionized My Life

Osso buco: braised to perfection via pressure cooker
Risotto: finished with parmigiano, butter and veal marrow
Topping: parmigiano, Italian bread crumbs & chopped parsley

Dressed up in my 1950s-inspired outfit in my cooking class.
I call it the "Suzie Homewrecker." 

When it comes to food, I have been more of a consumer than a creator. In fact, when I was asked to introduce myself at a cooking class, I said, "Hello, my name is Phuong and I am here because I have not used an oven in almost 2 years. And also because my mother thinks I would have a better chance of finding a husband if I learned to cook."

I have skipped through life eating well off the culinary labors of talented chefs, family and friends. I decided it was finally time that the girl who wants to eat the world buckle down and get her hands dirty. It is daunting to start from square one. I completely lack the appropriate tools. I have only a junky collection of kitchen gear assembled from the parting of past roommates. 

After taking a 5 hour class in Italian cooking at the Kitchen Conservatory and using high end cookware, I went home and lamented over the scraps of metal in my kitchen. Enough! It was time to dip into the piggy bank and invest in some high end cookware. 

My first purchase was inspired by a cooking date. I selected a winning recipe I had seen on Top Chef: braised veal shanks (osso buco) with risotto. The dating world of busy young professionals is like an episode of Top Chef - amazing results are desired, but in a short amount of time. How do I make fantastic osso buco that traditionally takes 3 hours in one-third of the time? With a pressure cooker!!!

Fagor Duo 8-quart pressure cooker

I did my research like a proper conscious consumer before joyfully frolicking into Sur la Table to purchase myself a 5-piece Fagor Duo Pressure Cooker Set. I completely adore this pressure cooker because it is easy to use, easy to clean, gets great results and is safe! The instructions were very straightforward and there is even a built-in emergency pressure release valve that prevents your cooker from exploding and dooming you and your kitchen surfaces to a scorching food attack! If you are going to invest in a pressure cooker, spend the extra money and get one with a low and high pressure setting - this will make your cooker more versatile. For less than the price tag of a good pair of AG or Seven Jeans, you too can own a pressure cooker!

One hour after throwing the veal, vegetables, braising liquids and herbs into the pressure cooker, I had spectacular results. Opening up the pressure cooker lid almost felt like opening up a present. I could hardly wait for the steam to dissipate so I can peak at what was inside. After spending one hour under 15 pounds per square inch of pressure, the veal was extremely tender and literally falling off the bone. And it was hot! Almost as hot as my date! 

My cooker set also came with a recipe book that has changed the way I cook (or to be more precise, changed me from not cooking at all to prancing around in my kitchen a few times a week). Pot roast in 30 minutes, pasta in 10 and vegetables in 5! Since I am technologically inept, this wonderful gadget seems like something from the Jetsons to me. Throw food in pot. Wait. Get tasty dinner. Viola! Now only if I can have a robot maid! 

I am so enchanted with my pressure cooker, I am ordering a second set to be delivered to my parents. I hope  to save them some precious time throughout their week so they can kick back and relax (and attempt to friend me on Facebook). 

Stay tuned for more of my adventures in amassing kitchen tools and learning cooking techniques. Coming soon to the blog: super steel Japanese knives, fancy French ovens & tips for ridiculously rad risotto! 

Bon appetit! 

The Best Greeting Card Ever!

This is NOT the card I bought! Sadly, my photo wouldn't load :( 

Yes, it's Valentine's Day and throngs of people are stimulating our economy through purchases of cards, chocolates, jewelry, flowers and other accoutrements of "love" that have been cleverly marketed to the masses.

As an observer and devoted practitioner of anti-Valentine's-mass-consumptionism, I am not very fond of all the hoopla that surrounds this so-called holiday as it invades my stores, television and Google page. While I was seething over how all the "sweetness" in the air around me was giving me a figurative cavity, I stumbled upon a greeting card that made this Valentine's Day Scrooge crack a smile.

Front of card

I am sorry,

but I find it necessary

to terminate our relationship

for the following reason(s)

Inside the card there was a check list!  

O Your'e stupid

O Your'e mean

O I found someone better

O Spending time with you has made me realize how much I like being alone 

O I just figured out that I don't like you

O I had planned on a monogamous relationship

O You're not my type

O You're not good enough for me

O I'm too good for you 

I love this card because it reflects my dark, ironic humor and my love for all things efficient. I'm not sure if I have the the heart to actually send it (if I had anyone to send it to), but I had to purchase it (just in case)!

For all you love birds out there celebrating this "holiday," I hope you remember to show this type of affection to your significant other on other random days of the year as well. The best gestures of the love are the "just because" ones.

As for me, I won't be spending the rest of the day popping pink and red balloons or running over Cupids with my convertible. I plan on avoiding all this mess in the gourmet kitchen of a close friend as we celebrate our love for recipes from Food and Wine Magazine.

Side Note:

On my 6 mile run through Forest Park, a handsome man taught me something my mother never did: how to properly tie my shoe strings for a snug fit! Inspired by this bit of information, I Googled  and found other techniques for tying shoe strings so they don't come undone! Check out this video at Runner's World (and yes you have to watch a very short ad). 

Lesson #1: When You Can Truly Love Someone

My loving and wise father has taught me an infinite number of life lessons throughout the years. This man, for whom I have very high respect, has taught me everything from how to put on a shirt, how to solve for X, how to balance a chemical equation, how to change a tire and to how keeping your word reflects your character.

I am starting a category labeled "Wisdom From My Father" in order to share his invaluable knowledge. Consider this my version of "$#!+ My Dad Says."

Lesson #1: When You Can Truly Love Someone 

My great grandmother married a widower who had many, many children. She loved them all genuinely and wholeheartedly. When she passed away, her stepchildren showed how much they loved her in return by actually arguing over who would have the honor of paying all her funeral costs. 

When my father was a young man he asked my great grandmother how she was able to love so many children that were not her own. She told him that her love for those children stemmed from her love for her husband and her want for him to be happy. She then proceeded to teach my father a lesson on love that he would pass down to me:

When you are poor, when you have very little money to your name, does it make sense to loan money to other people? You simply can't do it because you have nothing to offer. Love is the same way. In order for you to truly love others, you must love yourself first. You must be wealthy when it comes to self-love. Only then, can you love generously and freely. 

My 2-cents: 

When people who don't love themselves enough say that they love someone else, it makes me think that so-called love is more of a dependence than true love. You try to give apart of yourself away in hopes of getting something in return, in hopes the other person will fill your void with their love. What happens when that other person leaves? Will you be left so alone and empty that you have nothing for yourself or for others in your life? 

Irrational Tendencies

Merriam-Webster defines irrational as (1) not endowed with reason or understanding (2) lacking usual or normal mental clarity or coherence. What separates us from our reason and mental clarity? Is it being under the influence of passion, emotions or chemical substances? And when we feel the urge of irrationality, how can we stop ourselves? 

I have been bottling up a lot of emotions lately, mostly fear and uncertainty. Fear that I am falling short of my potentials and uncertainty about whether or not I have the capacity to conquer my fear. Not sharing these emotions breeds more uncomfortable feelings such as anxiety and restlessness. Yesterday was a particularly bad day. Nothing of note actually happened, but I was starting to feel the little things snowballing into an avalanche. I felt the burden pressing down and I was on the brink of snapping...I can hear the cracks starting to form. It was difficult to think logically. It was dark and drizzling. I was driving. I could not orient myself. I couldn't even pay attention to my GPS. 

Then I felt the deft hands of irrationality caressing my shoulders. In my mind I knew I had the next few days off from work and as if under a spell, I drove to the airport. A small, dark thought crept into my head, "Just get away. You have the time. You have the money. Just break your own rules. Just get away." As I drove towards the main terminal, I can feel my heart pounding with the sense of urgency. I can feel a surge of adrenaline coursing through my veins and seeping into my thoughts. I rolled down my windows to hear the sound of planes taking off and wheels of suitcases rolling across the wet ground. I had everything I would actually need. My ID. My credit cards. My favorite lip gloss. My irrationality. I was good to go. 

I soon found myself stuck behind a shuttle bus. I took numerous deep breaths in order to calm my racing mind. My rationality and my senses returned to me. A honk from the vehicle behind me, signaling me to get moving snapped me out of my trance. I drove straight on and took the exit lane home. This was the closest I had ever come to realizing a major irrational impulse. I have done many little impulsive things before - splurges on clothing, splurges on food and other silly things when I was in love. But never just taking off on a plane and not telling anyone. 

I knew I had to face whatever emotions were plaguing me head on. But not tonight, not when I feel like every cell in my body was buzzing with excitement from how close I was to realizing my irrational thoughts. I took myself to the gyms. Yes, plural. I relinquished my aggression through kick boxing and calmed myself down further with a 4.5 mile run, abdominal work and myofascial release. 

Three hours later, I was too exhausted to even comprehend what was bothering me before. I could only think of a hot shower and embracing the comforts of my bed. 

I reflected on my close call the morning after. Would I really have stepped on an airplane if the shuttle bus didn't buy me time? I will never know for sure. I can't help but think, "Where would I have woken up this morning had I gone through with it?" 

My take away lesson from this experience is to always have a backup plan. I need to mentally prepare for irrationality because I have no doubt that it will come around many times more in this lifetime. I learned to recognize when emotions are bottling up and how to deal with them before too much pressure accumulates. I need to learn to recognize when it's passion and emotions that are dictating my action instead of myself. 

I also can't help but think, wouldn't it be fun if I had been irrational this time? I could have start dealing with my issues in a nice little bed and breakfast on the coast somewhere...

What was the last irrational thing you did? And why? 

Getting Out of a Ticket: My New Year's Tip

I am writing this entry because I got pulled over this morning. My crime? Stopping traffic with my legendary badonkadonk while running in yoga pants. Seriously? My license plates expired and I was at a red light when a police officer changed lanes and got right behind me! I am a very detail-oriented person when it comes to relationships and work, but I am pretty much oblivious when it comes to everything else.

I have gotten out of many traffic tickets before and today was no exception. I will give you a play-by-play and then break it all down.

Saw the red and blue lights flashing and cursed to myself. 

Slowly and carefully pulled into the closest parking lot off the road. 

Got out my license and registration immediately and mentally prepared myself to be as charming as possible.

I rolled down my window as the officer approaches and smiled a big, winning smile. 

"Good morning, officer!"

"Ma'am, I pulled you over because your plates have expired. I need to see your license and registration."

"Yes, officer. I have my license and registration all ready for you. Here you go, sir! I understand my license plates have expired and I sincerely apologize for not realizing it sooner. This is the first time I have owned a vehicle and I honestly am not used to taking care of such things. A friend just pointed it out to me the other day and I am in the process of getting all the required paperwork, but I have just been working oh so much! This was a slip up on my part and you were completely right for pulling me over." I inserted more sweet smiles and a touch of puppy eyes. 

"I'll be right back ma'am." 

I sat there as nervous as if I were going to go on a date with Brad Pitt. I also hoped I had made a good enough impression. Then the officer returns to my car.

"Ma'am. You know that it is illegal every day you drive around with expired plates." 

"Oh, yes! I understand the severity of this and I am trying my best to get this corrected as soon as I can."

"I'm only going to give you a warning. Here's is your license and insurance card back. You have a good day and drive safely."

"Thank you so much, officer. I hope you have a pleasant day yourself and thank you again."

After he turned to leave and after I rolled up my windows, two thoughts occurred to me:

1. Saaaaawwwwwweeeeeeeeet! 

2. I am so freaking glad I actually look really decent this morning! 

detectorlaser.com

So if you ever get pulled over for a minor* moving violation, remember the following:

1. Don't panic! Take a deep breath and get your license and registration (L&R) ready STAT! Greet the office nicely and smile! You probably want to plead for mercy right now, but don't even attempt to utter anything until you have given the office your L&R. The officer must follow procedure. He/she won't talk to you until these pieces of information are surrendered. 

2. After handing over your essentials, don't let the officer turn and leave- this is key! Once the officer goes back to the squad car and writes the ticket, game over! This is when you plead for mercy. 

3. You probably already know why you got pulled over. Just admit your guilt and tell the officer that he/she is right. The person with that big gun is also packing a lot of pride. You need to play into this factor and make the officer feel proud and important. Once you have successfully accomplished this task, the office will be less likely to want to punish you further. If you're pulled over because you were speeding, DON'T admit fault! Ask the officer extremely politely to see the radar (in some jurisdictions, you are allowed to request this). If the officer does not want to show it you, don't press your luck. 

*"Minor" qualifies as things that are NOT drinking and driving, transporting illegal drugs, transporting a dead body or if you just kidnapped Justin Bieber. You will need a higher power to save you if you are guilty of such. 

mrtraffic.com

If you do end up getting a ticket, it's not really game over. Remember to still be pleasant to the officer. You want to leave a very good impression of yourself. You can still contact the officer later via a phone call or a written letter to further plead your case and your circumstance - you still have a shot. Be thorough and convincing about why he/she should drop your ticket. If this doesn't work and you have to go to court, it's still not game over yet. You can still plead your case to the judge and it pays to be nice to the office in case he/she is at court. I have gone to court two times for traffic tickets and the judges have dropped my tickets both times. I had to pay a very small court fee and I was free to go with nothing on my record.

I have been fortunate enough to have dated an attorney, who enlightened me with all these tips. Always remember to present yourself on your best behavior and be as genuinely pleasant as possible. For my friends who claim the only reason I got out of my tickets was because I am a pretty girl... brains beat beauty, baby! The only way I weaseled out of those tickets is because I was smart enough to be cool and collected as well say the right things. Even gorgeous celebrities get tickets, so beauty isn't everything! But, I have to admit, looking pretty definitely did not hurt my chances! Maybe I should stash makeup in the glove compartment in case I get pulled over on a day when I look like Courtney Love instead of Courtney Cox. 

I hope these amateur tips will help you next time you look up and see those flashing lights! Good luck!


Note: Within a few hours of getting pulled over, I got my plates renewed. I'm good for 2 more years!

Breaking News In Health: Dating Online Fatigue Syndrome

Down right, exhausted!! 

I am feeling abnormally exhausted today. My imagination seems to be the only thing left that had the stamina to run wild. Thyroid malfunction? Lack of sleep? Working out to much? No. No. And no.

After examining all my symptoms and consulting several medical texts, I have diagnosed myself with a case of Dating Online Fatigue Syndrome (DOFS). Although I have officially coined this term, I am not the first of its victims. I hope I can share my story and help others like me, so they won't have to suffer in silence.

P.N. is a 25 year old single, Asian female who presents with the following signs and symptoms:

1. Inability to recall information from online profiles at the drop of a hat
2. Inability to focus (example: Eating two pastries instead of one because you forgot you ate one already).
3. Over analyzing messages.
4. Eye strain from reading too many messages.
5. Generalized lethargy with hints of apathy (example: This guy looks really hot, but I would rather eat poorly prepared foie gras than read another profile).

I blame my case of DOFS on the New Year. Single people out there are hopeful for a year of happiness and love. I too, am one of those hopefuls, but I have not been as active about making my wish come true as these other folks. My mailbox felt like the elastic waist band of a hungry fat kid at Thanksgiving dinner at Paula Dean's house. As if the notices on sales and donation solicitations weren't bad enough, just add notices of quivers, winks, blinks, twinkles, winkles and the whole lot! If curiosity was what killed the cat, this little kitty felt like an anvil with a capital "C" just squashed her after she decided to peer into Pandora's e-mail box. I usually ignore most of these notices, but "a new year, a new beginning," or whatever it says in Hallmark cards really got to me.

It's been 6 months since I embarked on this journey of online dating. I have taken numerous stretches of breaks from it every now and then due to time constraint and  lack of people piquing my interest, so it's not fair to say it's been a full 6 months. It's also not fair to say I've been actively engaged in the whole process. I'm not sure which profile broke this single girl's back...but until the symptoms from DOFS dissipate, I am not going to read about anymore "easy going" people who "likes to have fun with friends" out there. I have also discontinued one of my online dating subscriptions as well.

Maybe it's the DOFS talking, but I'm also contemplating taking a break from dating for a few weeks. It's just exhausting putting myself and my carefully protected heart out there. I don't think I am brave enough to suffer through unrequited feelings. That is definitely one of the worst things for me to experience, especially when I know someone could just be stringing me along. Shopping-therapy helps sometimes, but I know it's not a cure! For those who know me...yeah, I have a sensitive side...shocker! Besides, I have Adventures in 2011 and Resolutions to tackle.

But wait...if it was Pandora's Box that I opened, then there should still be Hope that remains right? Don't worry, I am still a romantic at heart. I will still be in pursuit of that sweeping, epic love. But for now, I am going take take my prescription for DOFS and try to take a break.

Dining Etiquette: When You Feel Like "Pretty Woman" at a Fancy Dinner

Mix (64th floor of THEhotel), Las Vegas
I had the pleasure of committing a few dining faux pas here during a birthday dinner.
Photo courtesy of Google image.

I was inspired to write this entry by recent discussion over dining etiquette on a dinner date. As a girl who has been fortunate enough to dine at many upscale restaurants, I would like to share with my audience some things I learned from my dinning experiences as well as from an etiquette class I once took. I want to save you from the blunders and embarrassments I have had to live down.

Of course we all know not to speak with our mouths full, keep our elbows off the table and not slouch, but here are some very important etiquette that can be easily overlooked:

1. Wear appropriate attire. Keep in mind your company, the venue and the purpose of the dinner. 

I wore a sexy little black dress with patented leather stilettos to one of the fanciest restaurants in the country. My company was a friend I knew very well and the purpose of the dinner was because we were hungry for gourmet food. We were also in Las Vegas, so I wore a sexy dress to dinner in case we went out afterwards. I totally felt inappropriate. 

2. Sitting down (and standing up). Wait until the people of higher ranking or seniority are seated before you seat yourself. What exactly does that mean? Your significant other's parents, your boss and the Queen gets to be seated first. When these people stand up, you must also rise. I'm sure most of you know this already, but when a lady gets up, the gentlemen should as well. I hope none of you eat somewhere fancy with a lady who has bladder issues (hmm...this would make a great Detrol LA or Toviaz commericial)! 

3. The napkin. Either allow the server to place it on your lap or do it yourself. The napkin stays in your lap, do not tuck it like a bib. If you have to get up in the middle of dinner, loosely fold the napkin and set it on either side of your plate. Here's an interesting factoid! I read somewhere that the purpose of the napkin is to shield your lap from spills and NOT for wiping your face. Is anyone else aware of this?!

This invention is awesomely tacky! I love it!

4. Bread and butter. Remove from the community butter dish the amount you intend to use to abstain from going back and forth between your plate and the community dish (and prevent contamination of the community butter). When buttering your bread, tear the bread into bite size pieces and butter each piece one bite at time. This will prevent you from ungracefully shoving a piece of buttered bread into your face. Apparently, we can't use napkins to wipe butter off our face anyway! 

My companion brought this butter etiquette to my attention. I do this already because I get grossed out by the contamination factor of sharing butter-- I never knew it was an actual etiquette! 

5. Know the table setting. 

Remember to leave each item in its place. I made the mistake of moving
the bread plate closer to me, so I wouldn't have reach. The server continuously
moved my bread plate back to it's original position every time he passed by to
refill my bread. Embarrassing!! 

6. Eating. 

a. Spoon soup away from you and tip it towards you when you eat. When picking up food with a fork, do it with the tines facing down. 

I don't get the whole spoon away from you thing. My date suggested that if you repeatedly spoon towards yourself, it could seem like you are shoveling food in your face (like you're absolutely starving), not the least bit elegant. 

b. Cut food with the knife in your right hand the hold the food down with the fork (tines down) in your left hand. After you have sliced off a few pieces, place the knife down and transfer the fork to your right hand and begin eating. Chew. Swallow. Repeat. (Caveat, you are right handed). 

c. If eating a piece of meat, do not cut up the entire piece of meat into bite size pieces all at once. I have never seen this done, but if you are guilty of such atrocity, cut it out!

d. Eat as elegantly as you can. Don't make rude noises such as slurping sounds. 

e. Do not do the following at the table: blow your nose, apply makeup, use a toothpick. 

I am guilty of reapplying lip gloss at the table. It takes 5 seconds to reapply and a hundred times longer to leave the table. 

f. If you have to cough, cover with your napkin (the napkin will also help stifle the cough). 

g. If you have to go to the bathroom, just say "Excuse/Pardon me." Don't say I'm going to the bathroom-- people are eating, they don't need the imagery. 

The above list is by no means all encompassing. I strongly feel that if you follow the above general guidelines, you will be safe dining formally. If you ever dine with me, I will probably not adhere to all the rules at all times. I will, however, promise that you will be in the presence of a very neat and polite diner. 

What dining etiquette rules have you broken? Any good etiquettes you like to share? 

New Year's Resolutions & Wishes

With my favorite Top Chef, Richard Blais in Tampa Bay.
 I'm going to trade in the fine dining and valet parking scene for
more of the kitchen and grocery store parking lot scene in 2011.
For those who know me well, stop laughing and support me!!

Resolutions (things I can control)

1.       Eat out less & learn to cook. I will post my creations on the blog. And no, it won't be anything lame like spaghetti or mac 'n cheese. 

2.       Read and write more

3.       Apologize less. We say sorry for things we don't mean all the time. I think overusing that word devalues its meaning. I'm going to say, "Excuse me," next time I accidentally bump into someone. I am sure not remorseful for the bump, so why say, "I'm sorry?" 

4.       Procrastinate less.

5.       Spend more time with family.

6.       Be ready for swimsuit season when it arrives. I have inadvertently entered into a contest with a new acquaintance for who can get visible abs the quickest this year. I plan on coming out on top. 

7.       Be more assertive. 

8.       Be less inhibited. 

9.       Be more calm, cool and collected.

10.   Be more organized (in thought and in action).

Wishes (things I can’t control)

1.       Experience what Carrie Bradshaw from Sex and City refers to as “Real love. Ridiculous, inconvenient, consuming, can’t-live-without-each-other-love.”

2.       Get kissed in the rain.

3.       Find a four leaf clover.

4.       Be moved to tears in public. For those that know me, I'm a fairly stoic person on the surface. There is definitely a reservoir of emotions underneath it all, but I find it difficult to freely express. 

5.       Meet people who are as straightforward as I am. I'm all about efficiency. Let's just tell each other what we really want and save that valuable time we would have wasted beating around the bush. 

6.       Experience a random act of kindness. 

7.       Find a beautiful vintage book.

8.       Get complimented on having good form (weight lifting or running).

9.       Have someone make me blush intensely.

10. Come out winning in a fight if I were to be in one.  

Adventures in 2011

I'll spin your head right round, right round when
I write my bucket list down, down

As I was waiting for my vehicle to be serviced, I killed some time at a local bar with a Ketle One dirty martini. It was either the martini at 11:30AM on a Wednesday or the fact that it was close to the end of the year that inspired me to write my 2011 Bucket List (and no, I don't plan on dying in 2011).

My Top Ten (in no particular order) & Why:

1. Run a half marathon under 2 hours 

I want to run a full marathon before I turn 30, this will be a good start. I like challenges that engage both the body and the mind and I want to see if I can do better than my first attempt at a half marathon 5 years ago. 

2. Get visible abs

I want to have a photo of myself looking ridiculously jaw dropping in a skimpy bathing suit. So when I am wrinkly and saggy, I can say to myself, "You lived your life to the fullest and pushed your body to be the best it can be." Here's to living without regrets. 

3. Send a gorgeous man a drink from across the bar

This is purely an exercise of building confidence (I do plan on lookin' smokin' to for this). I have never sent a man a drink or used a pick up line before because (a) I have never had to- I'm usually on the receiving end of such & (b) If I wanted to, I never had the guts to do it. I have no intentions of picking up anyone, I just want to do it, just to do it. My worst nightmare would be if I sent the drink and the man's wife/girlfriend/boo returns from the bathroom and gets really jealous. To that imaginary woman, you should feel honored that you are with a man hot enough to be worthy of me sending him a drink, so chill out!! 

4. Sky dive

I am afraid of heights. I just want to do one tandem dive to get it out of my system. Besides, I hear the adrenaline rush is quite the experience. The only way #4 would not happen is if my loving parents get overwhelmingly worried and I respect their concerns. No need of putting mom through all that stress (I might just do it without telling them first). 

5. Travel to a new continent

There are 3 continents I haven't been to: Africa, South America & Antarctica. It's my life dream to travel to all 7. It will most likely be Africa - I hear the pyramids in Egypt calling my name. 

6. Do a pull up

After I admitted I couldn't do one, a friend asked me, "What happens if you fall off a balcony?" To which I replied, "Well, I guess I would die!" So, I'm going to master the pull up so I can prevent myself from hypothetically going, "SPLAT!"

7. Learn how to pole dance

This is kind of #2 & 3. Building confidence and working on getting visible abs simultaneously. I don't plan on showcasing any moves, I just want a fun workout that makes me feel like I can conquer the world in 5 inch heels. 

8. Finance the construction of a water well in a third world country via Charity:Water

I don't make a ton of money, but I make enough to live very comfortably. I also make enough to splurge and waste money very comfortably as well. I feel I have been selfish with what I have and want to give back. Charity:Water is a great organization - check it out and contact me if you want to help. 

9. Increase my business growth 

In order to be a well rounded individual, I believe one must have personal as well as professional goals. I just started being a manager about 10 months ago at the age of 24. There is still so much to learn and so much I can improve on. I want to do far better than I have done this year and develop myself professionally. 

10. Engage in volunteer work

I wondered where all my time went and this past fall, I started a calendar to track what I actually did when I'm not working, working out or doing those necessary daily things (sleeping, eating, paying bills). Most of my time was devoted to a highly active social life - going out with friends, going on dates and traveling. I want to have my cake and eat it too. I want to still flutter my social butterfly wings, but I want to prioritize things and fit some monthly volunteer work in as well. Quality over quantity, I suppose. 

I will post updates when each item gets crossed off - hopefully with great photos too!!

Side notes:

Here's a terrible pickup line inspired by the bucket list, "If you think sending you a drink is sexy, wait 'til you see what I can do with a pole." I think I would start laughing hysterically before I can even finish saying it.

The Male Mind: A $4 Inside Scoop

Six months ago, I decided to put myself back on the market. I felt I had healed enough after ending my long-term relationship and was ready to start dating again. But where do I begin? I haven't gone on a first date in four years! My "game" was so rusty, I wanted to give myself a tetanus shot. Then all of the sudden, the clouds parted and a ray of beautiful sunlight descended from the heavens and showed me the answer. In reality, the window washers came to clean the windows of my loft on the sixth floor and I wanted to sit in the living room and pretend to read a magazine in hopes of checking out some hot men in uniforms dangling outside my window from harnesses. I happened to pick up my ex-boyfriend's issue of Men's Health and realized that the magazine wasn't kidding when it put on the cover, "tons of useful stuff."

I am completely infatuated with Men's Health. It has everything a girl like me could ask for- insider tips into the male mind, fitness tips, recipes, tons of other practical information AND pictures of sexy men on every page. 

Top 5 useful things I learned from reading Men's Health: 

1. What men are worried about (It's pretty much the same as us ladies! Hair, wrinkles, weight, how to attract the opposite sex, etc.)

2. What men look for in a relationship, turn offs/turn ons & what they think they know about women

3. How men tend to deal with stuff that arise in relationships and work

4. What techniques men are trying to hone in order to pick us up

5. What techniques men are trying to hone in order to thrill us in the bedroom 

Of course every man is unique and has a different takes on #1-5, but getting a little insider information put me a little more at ease as I stepped back into the dating world. Knowing that men stress about the same things I  do makes going on dates a tad less intimidating. Ladies, it's a wealth of information for only 4 bucks and trust me, it's worth it.

Side notes:
1. When I told my ex-boyfriend I was reading his Men's Health subscriptions for dating research, he replied, "That's OK, I took some of your old Cosmos when I moved the rest of my stuff out of the same reason!"

2. Information in Men's Health is so straight forward and without all the frills. One of my most favorite section is "How to Do Everything Better," in which you get mini lessons on things like how to to pour the perfect glass of champagne or how to prevent your windows from fogging. These tips are so much more practical than how to get straight, sexy hair (what woman doesn't know how to use a flat iron?). Besides, I already wake up in the morning with straight, sexy hair : )

Re-Break My Heart, Say You Don't Love Me Again

Unlike Toni Braxton, this girl isn't afraid of being left out in the rain.

During a light discussion about dating over dinner with a friend last night, something profound dawned on me. As we talked about our fears of having our precious hearts shattered, I suddenly realized that I have arrived at that stage of life where I am comfortable and confident with myself enough that I am not afraid of having my heart broken. Of course I don't want to have my feelings hurt, but I know that I am strong and resilient enough to withstand the potential aftermath. I have come to the realization that I am ready to fall head over stilettos without a helmet or knee pads!

If love is a game, I want it to be rugby. I am ready to play hard, be thrilled and be fearless. Experiencing love and experiencing the lost of it is like a rite of passage. Why shy away from it? Why not embrace it full force? Sure, it could end up horribly, but isn't the chance of finding that grand love worth the risk? The grand love you may find could even be more love for yourself. I want to convince my dear friend that heart break is, after all, just another part of growing up and self-discovery. Don't be afraid of that pain, don't be afraid of being left in the rain. If you ever find yourself stuck in what seems to be a torrential downpour, remember to not just stand there...remember that around the corner, there could be a big awning or even a gorgeous stranger willing to share his or her umbrella with you. 

Smile-worthy Notes:

I got hit up with a holiday theme pickup line today, "Make my wish come true, all I want for Christmas is you!" 

Capitalism: A Taste Story

My first order of business after clearing immigration/customs upon returning from Vietnam was to get McDonald's. I wasn't in the mood for McDonald's. I wasn't even hungry. I was yearning for the flavor of America. The taste of capitalistic efficiency, equality, peace of mind and comfort. For around $6, I got all of that and a little more. And yes, when you are tired and jet lagged from 27 hours of travel, these abstract notions were tangible in the warmth of a cheeseburger and a medium order of fries. Who knew that mass produced food can be so enlightening to a foodie like me? There I was, in Terminal 2 of Chicago O'Hare, happy as a clam.

1. Capitalistic efficiency - It took me approximately 100 seconds to get my food after a swift swipe of my debit card. The line was more than 15 people deep with more lining up still. The team of about 11-12 employees behind the counter was working at a frantic speed, cranking out white paper bags of fast food and delivering them with smiles. Time is money and cash registers were cha-chinging with every passing second. This was a far cry from the incompetence I observed while overseas. Lines were long. Workers were unorganized and unfriendly. When you are used to a certain expectation for years, enduring countless repeated inefficiencies was frustrating to say the least. It also got me wondering about the economic growth of Vietnam...but that's a different story.

2. Equality - In America, we like to think everyone deserves to be treated equally. If Barack Obama ordered a cheeseburger from McDonald's, he would get the exact same thing as me or the guy next to me. His order may be served up with a bigger smile, but you get the point. The prices for the food were listed brightly and clearly. You knew exactly how much you're going to pay and exactly what you're going to get. Sounds simple enough, but don't take it for granted. While I was with my friend abroad, we were ripped off many times. He was often being overcharged because he was a white man in a suit on the streets of Hanoi. I was often being overcharged because I was not a local. Sometimes there were no price tags and when there were price tags, you couldn't trust them.

Social Experiment: For some reason Vietnamese people thought I was either Japanese or Korean (I've actually been mistaken for Japanese since I was a child). I decided to walk into a clothing store and pretend I did not speak Vietnamese. I asked for the price of a wool coat in my accent-free English and the saleswomen actually talked amongst themselves, mumbling about how much more to charge me because I was a foreigner. I shook my head in disgust and walked straight out. I was overwhelmed. I felt like I was suffocating from the injustice. I understand this is a poor country and everyone needs to make a buck, but at what cost of morality? Of course, these things happen in America all the time, but not as blatantly and with such disregard.

3. Peace of mind and comfort - I knew the food I ate was safe and that the McDonald's has been inspected by a government official who was not bribed (99% sure). I knew there was some sort of quality control in this place. This was the country of voluntary recalls. Where the desire for safety and quality is driven by capitalism. Money talks and it told me that any scandal over unsafe anything meant less cha-chinging at the cash registers.

It pains me to think about how the things I witnessed and experienced were the product of years of war and civil unrest. I am no expert in history or politics, but maybe the lack of development is due to the constant occupation by so many forces over the past few centuries - from the Chinese, French and Japanese to the Americans. I wish for improvement in my former home country and hope that my experience will be a bit different upon my next trip back. But for now, I am glad to call America my home. I missed the simple things I took for granted. I missed the familiarity of everything. I missed home! I was grateful to come home and more grateful that my parents made the bold decision to move to America 18 years ago. America is not perfect, but it is a country with more basic luxuries than a lot of other places.

Footnote:
Hours later, my stomach didn't feel all that great. I had been eating fairly healthy and a big dose of saturated fat did not do me good. The taste of capitalism may be delicious at times, but it doesn't come without consequence.

Super Woman Sunday

Entrance to the Temple of Literature- Hanoi, Vietnam

Calling my Sunday jammed packed with activities is an understatement. I woke up on a boat in Halong Bay, Vietnam and had a small breakfast on board. I was scheduled to take a smaller boat into the harbour, but was delayed due to some mechanical malfunctions. After waiting for what seemed like an eternity, I finally set foot on land and took a bumpy, 3 hour long ride in a rickety old van back to Hanoi. After we got to Hanoi, I had to hustle to make a graduation ceremony my friend, a law professor at the Royal Melbourne Institute of Technology in Vietnam, was in. Unfortunately, I had forgotten to pack dress shoes - all I had were neon green flip flops and tennis shoes. The ceremony was held in the Temple of Literature, a 1,000 year old building home to the oldest school in Vietnam. I had to be seated at at 5:30PM and all I had on were jogging pants, an athletic top and sneakers.

Do I abandon my friend and wait outside? Do I attend the ceremony in my pathetic clothing and bring shame upon myself sitting amongst the elite and inside a building of such high honor?  At 5:15PM I decided to go for it. I had on sprinting flats, might as well put them to good use! I ran around the Temple, across the busy street (narrowly getting ran over my mopeds and cars), down the crowded avenue and into a shoe store. I was feeling like The Flash, but a more sweaty version. "I need at pair of black pumps, this size (as I held up my sprinting flats)! I need this now, please!" The shoe store owner and her daughter looked at me with wide eyes for 2 seconds and quickly sprung into action. Within 60 seconds, I had tried on a pair of patented leather pumps that was a Cinderella-worthy fit. I paid for the shoes, ran back to Temple, snaked my away around to the back where the professors in the procession were gowing (and where my friend had stored our suitcase) and changed right then and there. I put my dress over my tank top and removed my pants from underneath. I felt very, very wrong for changing in a place of worship with a few men lurking around. By U.S. standards, no biggie. But my traditional Vietnamese standards, what I was doing could be considered appalling! Thank goodness everyone was too busy to notice me. By this time, it was 5:29PM and I was fully dressed. I even had pretty pearls around my neck to look a little more formal. I was seated by 5:33PM by a volunteer and more guests were still being ushered in.

The Flash!!

The ceromony lasted a little after 7PM and after the waiting for my friend to finish his photo-ops with graduates and other faculty members, it was time to catch a cab and hustle back to my friend's apartment to pack. After that, I had to hail another cab to the airport to catch my flight back to the United States. I also had to write some last minute postcards! After bidding my best friend a sad goodbye, I made it the airport with exactly 1 hour to get my plane tickets, make it through customs and find my gate.

When my butt hit the airplane seat, I sighed one of the biggest sighs of relief. No more running. No more huslting. I felt like Super Woman. I kicked of my shoes, wrapped my purple airplane-issued blanket around me and sunk into my seat. I put on my headphones and started to watch the movie Eat, Pray, Love.

So within the span of 12 hours, I had traveled by sea, by land and by air. I am exhausted, but a little proud of myself for getting so much squeezed into those 12 hours.

I'm currently blogging from Icheon International Airport in Seoul, South Korea. Yet another flight to catch in about half an hour. Good thing I can see my gate from here! Tune in for my review of Incheon! This has got to be the best airport in the world! For very little money, I was able to eat, drink, nap AND shower in a private lounge! Gotta down this cappucino and grab my luggage...until next time!

Disgrace #1

For those who have been bamboozled by my magnetic and winsome personality into thinking I am this graceful being, the best thing since sliced bagels...these are my humiliating confessions. Confessions to truths so atrociously embarrassing, one would need to do more than dig a hole to hide in it. One would need to a dig a hole all the way to China and change one's name to Dum Fu Hai Ding. Welcome to the section titled "Oh the Humilty!"

Boat ride on a part of the
Mekong Delta River with my
bamboo hat. 

I traveled with my father to visit his hometown of My Tho, Vietnam in spring of 2008. This was the place where my hero grew up. A place of peaceful, luscious rice paddies and wholesome peasant life. After visiting the family tomb and lighting incense for the ancestors, my father took me to see the people he grew up around. I was looking forward to meeting the village elders and hearing them reminisce about stories of yesteryear. The nostalgia! The history! I had all this positive chi flowing until...

Dad: Hello! Hello! So good to see you! You remember my daughter don't you Ba Hai? You remember Phuong right? She was probably less than 3 years old the last time you saw her. Look how tall she's grown! 

In my mind: Of course! How could I forget? She was that adorable little girl who used to play no nicely with the other children! 

Ba Hai (reality): Of course! How could I forget? She was that rambunctious little girl who used to pee into a funnel standing up when she played make-believe that she was a boy!

Oh yes, she did!

Mortified. Stunned. Face frozen. Botox face. Good news. China is only across the border. I can still make it. Where's that damn shovel?!?!   

Ba Hai must have been at least 80 years old. She had seen everything. Foreign occupation. War. The rebuilding of a nation. And apparently, she had seen me pee into a plastic funnel by the pond out back and remembered it 2 decades later at the drop of a bamboo hat. 

On the way home, my father turned to me and said, "I can't believe you peed into a funnel. In public! How did you realize the difference in male and female anatomy? How did you know boys had penises when you were less than 3? My little daughter was so smart!" (Gotta love dad!)

My dad in a tunnel.
He was always a support parent.
I hope China is nice this time of year.