Breaking News In Health: Dating Online Fatigue Syndrome

Down right, exhausted!! 

I am feeling abnormally exhausted today. My imagination seems to be the only thing left that had the stamina to run wild. Thyroid malfunction? Lack of sleep? Working out to much? No. No. And no.

After examining all my symptoms and consulting several medical texts, I have diagnosed myself with a case of Dating Online Fatigue Syndrome (DOFS). Although I have officially coined this term, I am not the first of its victims. I hope I can share my story and help others like me, so they won't have to suffer in silence.

P.N. is a 25 year old single, Asian female who presents with the following signs and symptoms:

1. Inability to recall information from online profiles at the drop of a hat
2. Inability to focus (example: Eating two pastries instead of one because you forgot you ate one already).
3. Over analyzing messages.
4. Eye strain from reading too many messages.
5. Generalized lethargy with hints of apathy (example: This guy looks really hot, but I would rather eat poorly prepared foie gras than read another profile).

I blame my case of DOFS on the New Year. Single people out there are hopeful for a year of happiness and love. I too, am one of those hopefuls, but I have not been as active about making my wish come true as these other folks. My mailbox felt like the elastic waist band of a hungry fat kid at Thanksgiving dinner at Paula Dean's house. As if the notices on sales and donation solicitations weren't bad enough, just add notices of quivers, winks, blinks, twinkles, winkles and the whole lot! If curiosity was what killed the cat, this little kitty felt like an anvil with a capital "C" just squashed her after she decided to peer into Pandora's e-mail box. I usually ignore most of these notices, but "a new year, a new beginning," or whatever it says in Hallmark cards really got to me.

It's been 6 months since I embarked on this journey of online dating. I have taken numerous stretches of breaks from it every now and then due to time constraint and  lack of people piquing my interest, so it's not fair to say it's been a full 6 months. It's also not fair to say I've been actively engaged in the whole process. I'm not sure which profile broke this single girl's back...but until the symptoms from DOFS dissipate, I am not going to read about anymore "easy going" people who "likes to have fun with friends" out there. I have also discontinued one of my online dating subscriptions as well.

Maybe it's the DOFS talking, but I'm also contemplating taking a break from dating for a few weeks. It's just exhausting putting myself and my carefully protected heart out there. I don't think I am brave enough to suffer through unrequited feelings. That is definitely one of the worst things for me to experience, especially when I know someone could just be stringing me along. Shopping-therapy helps sometimes, but I know it's not a cure! For those who know me...yeah, I have a sensitive side...shocker! Besides, I have Adventures in 2011 and Resolutions to tackle.

But wait...if it was Pandora's Box that I opened, then there should still be Hope that remains right? Don't worry, I am still a romantic at heart. I will still be in pursuit of that sweeping, epic love. But for now, I am going take take my prescription for DOFS and try to take a break.

The Male Mind: A $4 Inside Scoop

Six months ago, I decided to put myself back on the market. I felt I had healed enough after ending my long-term relationship and was ready to start dating again. But where do I begin? I haven't gone on a first date in four years! My "game" was so rusty, I wanted to give myself a tetanus shot. Then all of the sudden, the clouds parted and a ray of beautiful sunlight descended from the heavens and showed me the answer. In reality, the window washers came to clean the windows of my loft on the sixth floor and I wanted to sit in the living room and pretend to read a magazine in hopes of checking out some hot men in uniforms dangling outside my window from harnesses. I happened to pick up my ex-boyfriend's issue of Men's Health and realized that the magazine wasn't kidding when it put on the cover, "tons of useful stuff."

I am completely infatuated with Men's Health. It has everything a girl like me could ask for- insider tips into the male mind, fitness tips, recipes, tons of other practical information AND pictures of sexy men on every page. 

Top 5 useful things I learned from reading Men's Health: 

1. What men are worried about (It's pretty much the same as us ladies! Hair, wrinkles, weight, how to attract the opposite sex, etc.)

2. What men look for in a relationship, turn offs/turn ons & what they think they know about women

3. How men tend to deal with stuff that arise in relationships and work

4. What techniques men are trying to hone in order to pick us up

5. What techniques men are trying to hone in order to thrill us in the bedroom 

Of course every man is unique and has a different takes on #1-5, but getting a little insider information put me a little more at ease as I stepped back into the dating world. Knowing that men stress about the same things I  do makes going on dates a tad less intimidating. Ladies, it's a wealth of information for only 4 bucks and trust me, it's worth it.

Side notes:
1. When I told my ex-boyfriend I was reading his Men's Health subscriptions for dating research, he replied, "That's OK, I took some of your old Cosmos when I moved the rest of my stuff out of the same reason!"

2. Information in Men's Health is so straight forward and without all the frills. One of my most favorite section is "How to Do Everything Better," in which you get mini lessons on things like how to to pour the perfect glass of champagne or how to prevent your windows from fogging. These tips are so much more practical than how to get straight, sexy hair (what woman doesn't know how to use a flat iron?). Besides, I already wake up in the morning with straight, sexy hair : )