Dining Etiquette: When You Feel Like "Pretty Woman" at a Fancy Dinner

Mix (64th floor of THEhotel), Las Vegas
I had the pleasure of committing a few dining faux pas here during a birthday dinner.
Photo courtesy of Google image.

I was inspired to write this entry by recent discussion over dining etiquette on a dinner date. As a girl who has been fortunate enough to dine at many upscale restaurants, I would like to share with my audience some things I learned from my dinning experiences as well as from an etiquette class I once took. I want to save you from the blunders and embarrassments I have had to live down.

Of course we all know not to speak with our mouths full, keep our elbows off the table and not slouch, but here are some very important etiquette that can be easily overlooked:

1. Wear appropriate attire. Keep in mind your company, the venue and the purpose of the dinner. 

I wore a sexy little black dress with patented leather stilettos to one of the fanciest restaurants in the country. My company was a friend I knew very well and the purpose of the dinner was because we were hungry for gourmet food. We were also in Las Vegas, so I wore a sexy dress to dinner in case we went out afterwards. I totally felt inappropriate. 

2. Sitting down (and standing up). Wait until the people of higher ranking or seniority are seated before you seat yourself. What exactly does that mean? Your significant other's parents, your boss and the Queen gets to be seated first. When these people stand up, you must also rise. I'm sure most of you know this already, but when a lady gets up, the gentlemen should as well. I hope none of you eat somewhere fancy with a lady who has bladder issues (hmm...this would make a great Detrol LA or Toviaz commericial)! 

3. The napkin. Either allow the server to place it on your lap or do it yourself. The napkin stays in your lap, do not tuck it like a bib. If you have to get up in the middle of dinner, loosely fold the napkin and set it on either side of your plate. Here's an interesting factoid! I read somewhere that the purpose of the napkin is to shield your lap from spills and NOT for wiping your face. Is anyone else aware of this?!

This invention is awesomely tacky! I love it!

4. Bread and butter. Remove from the community butter dish the amount you intend to use to abstain from going back and forth between your plate and the community dish (and prevent contamination of the community butter). When buttering your bread, tear the bread into bite size pieces and butter each piece one bite at time. This will prevent you from ungracefully shoving a piece of buttered bread into your face. Apparently, we can't use napkins to wipe butter off our face anyway! 

My companion brought this butter etiquette to my attention. I do this already because I get grossed out by the contamination factor of sharing butter-- I never knew it was an actual etiquette! 

5. Know the table setting. 

Remember to leave each item in its place. I made the mistake of moving
the bread plate closer to me, so I wouldn't have reach. The server continuously
moved my bread plate back to it's original position every time he passed by to
refill my bread. Embarrassing!! 

6. Eating. 

a. Spoon soup away from you and tip it towards you when you eat. When picking up food with a fork, do it with the tines facing down. 

I don't get the whole spoon away from you thing. My date suggested that if you repeatedly spoon towards yourself, it could seem like you are shoveling food in your face (like you're absolutely starving), not the least bit elegant. 

b. Cut food with the knife in your right hand the hold the food down with the fork (tines down) in your left hand. After you have sliced off a few pieces, place the knife down and transfer the fork to your right hand and begin eating. Chew. Swallow. Repeat. (Caveat, you are right handed). 

c. If eating a piece of meat, do not cut up the entire piece of meat into bite size pieces all at once. I have never seen this done, but if you are guilty of such atrocity, cut it out!

d. Eat as elegantly as you can. Don't make rude noises such as slurping sounds. 

e. Do not do the following at the table: blow your nose, apply makeup, use a toothpick. 

I am guilty of reapplying lip gloss at the table. It takes 5 seconds to reapply and a hundred times longer to leave the table. 

f. If you have to cough, cover with your napkin (the napkin will also help stifle the cough). 

g. If you have to go to the bathroom, just say "Excuse/Pardon me." Don't say I'm going to the bathroom-- people are eating, they don't need the imagery. 

The above list is by no means all encompassing. I strongly feel that if you follow the above general guidelines, you will be safe dining formally. If you ever dine with me, I will probably not adhere to all the rules at all times. I will, however, promise that you will be in the presence of a very neat and polite diner. 

What dining etiquette rules have you broken? Any good etiquettes you like to share? 

My Michelin Star Mission

My new pursuit: visit as many 3 Michelin Star Restaurants in the United States as I can (afford to).

What is a Michelin Star? 

The Michelin Guide was published in France in 1900 to help travelers find good establishments on their journey. Over a century later, it has become the gold standard guide for gourmet dining. The Michelin Guide employs highly qualified inspectors to anonymously visit hotels and restaurants. 

1 Star = A very good restaurant in its category

2 Stars = Excellent cooking and worth a detour

3 Stars = Exceptional cuisine and worth the journey

Restaurants with 3 Michelin Stars are rare- only about 80 restaurants in the world have this distinguished honor. There are only a handful of them in the United States and my new mission is to seek out them out, educate myself on the menu and enjoy utterly ecstatic culinary experiences! 

My First 3 Michelin Star Experience

I read about Joel Robuchon in a magazine a few years ago and was fascinated with the idea of one day eating at his restaurant. Getting to live out my gastronomic fantasy was pure bliss!

The restaurant sent a limo to the hotel to pick up my dining companion and I. We were driven to the back of the MGM Grande, where we were escorted by a beautiful woman in a long black gown through a big wrought iron gate and through the Mansion's corridors. We were greeted by the host upon arrival, an attractive French man in a very sharp suit. The ambiance of the restaurant was incredible and the furnishings were so luxurious- velvet seats, a beautiful chandelier and even a foot stool under the table! We had about 8 servers throughout dinner - each person had a specific task (utensils, water, drinks, bread, entrees, etc). We had a new sets of utensils with every course. It was very overwhelming.  

After our cocktails arrived, a bread cart with at least 20 types of breads was rolled out for our selection. I had a "Pretty Woman" moment because I had never been anywhere so fancy (I had not even set foot in a limo until tonight). Apparently, your bread plate stays on your left hand side at all times. I kept moving my bread plate in front of me and the server kept moving it back to the left side when he visited the table to bring more bread. My friend finally just told me, "Hey, the bread stays on the side." I wonder why he didn't tell me sooner! The menu was in French with English description below.  I didn't even attempt to read the French titles out of fear of further embarrassing myself. I told server I was not going to butcher his beautiful native language and that I would order in English.  Everything was "Le" this and "Le" that...and I was being referred to as "mademoiselle." I was intimidated.

I had the six course meal (technically, I had 11 because my friend and I shared our courses with one another). Everything was executed so perfectly and artistically! 

1. Amuse bouche

-Caviar on top of succulent crab

2. Appetizer

-King crab with asparagus blanc-manger (French panna cotta) and season vegetables 

-Truffled langoustine ravioli with cabbage

3. Soup

-Creamy chestnut soup with foie gras and bacon foam

4. Main courses

-Beef ribeye, wasabi spinach and bell pepper medley

-Duck and seared foie gras with sweet and sour fruit

-Spiny poached lobster

-Pan seared sea bass 

5. Cheeses (the names were so fancy I couldn't remember them!)

6. Desserts

-Blueberry compote and lemon brulee with violet milkshake

-Raspberry with raspberry brandy and coconut foam

Bonus round

-An array of mini desserts (I actually started laughing after the man named the all these desserts - how could I remember which was which to order?) 

After the wonderful meal..."Le Bill!" This was hands down the most expensive meal I have ever had. Was it worth it? Absolutely! It was a mind opening experience and an incredible introduction to fine French cuisine. Joel Robuchon was hailed "Chef of the Century" by this native country...what more could you ask for?

The experience ended with us being escorted back out and driven back to the hotel by another limo. I felt like  a celebrity! I also had the chorus of "Lifestyle of the Rich and the Famous" by Good Charlotte playing in my head on the limo ride back. It was very surreal. It was only 48 hours ago that I was eating frozen dinners! 

I have included some of the pictures I secretly snapped from my iPhone (it is considered rude to take pictures in the restaurant). The ones of the bread and cheese carts were courtesy of Google Image :-)

From top to bottom we have the bread cart, caviar, duck and foie gras, crab with blanc-manger (and yes, those are gold leaves on the blanc-manger), ribeye, soup, sea bass, cheese, dessert and bonus dessert. 

A Foodie is Born

One basic, yet very important thing about me: I LOVE food.  My close friends make fun of me for having both a personal trainer and an insatiable appetite for good eats. Don't get me wrong, I do it all in moderation. I got back from my dining excursion to Las Vegas a little over 24 hours ago. On the plane ride back, I reminisced about the wonderful food I had the opportunity to experience and reflected upon my journey to becoming an amateur foodie. 

An early history of my romance with food...the good times and the bad: 

I remember not liking foods that were not junk food as a child.  I was born in Ho Chi Minh City, Vietnam in the mid 1980s and there was not a wide variety of food where and when I grew up.  I vividly recollect dreading meal times because I correlated them with (a) stopping whatever mischievous activity I was plotting or carrying out (b) getting scolded by my parents for not having a better appetite when there are hungry children in Laos (c) suffering through the yuckiness that existed in the form of vegetables and (d) having to endure what seemed like an eternity of adult conversation and having to sit still through it all. 

I also remember going to "commy-first grade." Vietnam was and still is one of five communist countries that exists today. Under this regime, school children had to live under the strict rules of teachers who made mean Catholic nuns seem like Mary Poppins. We had to finish all our food at lunch...or else! The "or else" was usually a few slaps with a ruler on the hands followed by a humiliating bout of crying your eyes out in public because it hurts so darn much. You know, the uncontrollable crying with the gasping and snotting all over the place that made other kids looked on with wide eyes that read something like, "Damn! Sucks for you. At least it wasn't me!" One day, I couldn't finish my food and a dazzling light bulb went on over my little head. I figured I don't have to eat the food, I just have to get rid of it somehow. But how? But where?! Quick! Quick! Before they catch you! I threw the food under the table little by little...methodically and with precise calculation. Once the teacher saw that I had "obediently finished my food", as evident by my empty bowl, I was free! Free to go play! Unfortunately, like the invention of the atomic bomb, my bright idea had devastating consequences.  

The food I tossed under the table landed right under this poor boy's seat. A little tattle-tale ran to the teacher and told her about how the boy was throwing away his food. He was confronted and punished. As he was pleading his innocence, I looked on in silence like the coward that I was and thought to myself, "Damn! Sucks for you. At least it wasn't me!" I feel guilty about that incident, even to this day.  I wish I could apologize to him.  I wish I could take back what I did. I felt like one of those hated sleazy characters in the books I read as a child.  

Fast forward a few years later. My family and I moved to America when I was seven years old.  They told me America was the land of opportunity, but they didn't mention the food opportunity! I soon discovered French fries, other kinds of soda that was not Coca-Cola (purple ones, clear ones, red ones, orange ones, green ones...and they all gave your mouth that tingly zing!), burgers, cheese, milkshakes, pizza, tatter tots, ketchup, fried chicken...carbohydrates that have had their flavors enhanced by fats! These were of course all junk food, but they made eating enjoyable. I learned to explore different flavor combinations (picture that part in the movie Ratatouille when Remy first combined cheese and fruit).  I no longer dreaded meal times.  Food in America was wonderful! I love America! 

My palate has definitely changed over the years. I like to think my palate is more sophisticated these days.  I have come a long way from that little schemer girl who desperately tried to avoid food to someone who appreciates it whole heartedly. To me, food does more than nourish my body. Food for me means adventure, culture and comfort among many other things. 

What were your first memories of food? How has your palate changed over the years? What does food mean to you? 

I love food so much, I play with it! I'm just another classy girl.
*Crawfish finger puppet at Commander's Palace, New Orleans*

Tomorrow: My Michelin Star Mission and pictures from my "meal of a lifetime" in Vegas.