The Cat Lady Cometh: A Reflection on Being Alone

Single life has become more comfortable to me, like an old, over-sized sweater with deep sentimental value. I don't even mind going out alone like I did initially. Coffee for one, breakfast for one (although I tend to order for two and never finish any of it. What I can say? I'm a breakfast kinda girl)...museum and Forest Park explorations completely solo. I am relaxing into this time of self reflection and it feels as amazing as slipping your tired body into a steamy bubble bath. I even catch myself smiling when I'm cruising around in the convertible. Nowhere to go. No one to see. Just simply living in the moment. Relishing the sweet and warm kisses from the sun on my cheeks. Taking in the sensation of gentle caresses from the crisp autumn breeze through my hair.

Suddenly, my blissful and lovey-dovey single life honeymoon suffered the harsh frigidness of realism. It felt like a cold bitch slap to the soul. And it stung like hell.

A dear friend joked about how I have the potential of becoming a cat lady in my old age if I keep up this single life. The comment was humorous at first, but it really got me thinking. Cat lady? Me? I can't picture myself as some old disheveled, jilted granny-hoarder with a festive feline following. I do not like clutter, I plan on being fashionable well into my old age and I am still not 100% comfortable with the thought of being in a home full of fur-balls. But really, what will happen to me when I wake up one day weary of being alone? I am more than grateful to have loving family and friends, but a part of me yearns for a significant other.

My motto is, "It's better to be by yourself, than miserable with someone else." I simply do not believe in settling. The friend who teased me about being a future cat lady also asked if I thought my standards were either too high or too unrealistic. After some honest gut checking, my answer is a positive and resounding, "No." I am realistic and practical. None of my "requirements" are outlandish. Of course, I know it's going to be difficult finding that one man who has the qualities I want on paper plus that X-factor that sweeps me off my feet. I am a woman with incredible balance. It's going to take a very special someone to make me fall head over heels. I like to think I love myself enough to know I deserve to have it all.

So, after I took a step back from heavy contemplation and slipped back into my figurative honeymoon and bubble bath, I have learned that I am not afraid of being a "cat lady." I have resolved that it is going to be all or nothing. No settling. No selling myself short. If that day I so dread comes along, that day when I wake up weary of being alone...well, I know exactly where to find an animal shelter.

Maybe I will one day meet my knight in shining Beamer. Maybe I won't...and I'm OK with that. (OK for now, that is. Let's reassess in 5 years when I am 30 and we'll see if this delicate, youthful optimism survives the tides of time and cynicism).




Side Note: Technically, a Beamer/Beemer is a motorcycle by BMW and a Bimmer is a car by BMW. In case I have offend any BMW enthusiasts out there, I do know the difference. I just decided to go with Beamer since not many people realize this difference. If rappers can play around with words for the sake of flow, so can I.

The Soulmate Situation

Thank you, Hollywood 

When people (and by people, I mean mostly women) talk about relationships, they tend to bring up the word “soulmate.” Your soulmate is supposed to be the person with whom you strongly connect on many levels (spiritual, mental, emotional, sexual, etc.). Some argue that there is only one soulmate for each person and others argue that there can be many soulmates.

Before I delve into my opinions on this “soulmate” situation, I would like to take a step back and give some background on where this notion of soulmates may have originated. The ancient Greek playwright Aristophanes presented the mythology of soulmates in Plato’s Symposium.  According to legend, humans once had four arms, four legs and one head with two faces. Since Zeus feared that humans would become too powerful, he sliced them in half with his lightning bolts and fated them to wander the world searching for their other halves for the rest of eternity. He also threatened that if they posed any threats to him in the future, he would split them in half once more and they would hop on only one leg.

I was in a long-term relationship. An extremely loving and supportive one, I might add. It took me a long time, but I somehow mustered up the courage to let it go. Something was obviously missing and at the time, I just didn’t know what.  All I knew was that I needed time. Time to reflect.  Time to devote to myself and only myself.

At first, single life was difficult. I missed all the good things that came with the “relationship package.” But when I discovered the missing puzzle piece, single life became the greatest thing that has ever happened to me. The only thing missing was the ability to fully love myself and be happy independent of someone else.

Don’t get me wrong, I am not an island, entire of myself. A wise friend once told me that the best type of relationship is one in which both partners are already happy by his/herself and don't necessarily need another person in the equation to complete him/her.  When those two people come together, the relationship is a more stable and long-lasting one. No person has to “carry” the other one in anyway. No person has to act as the other one’s crutch or make up for the other one’s short comings.  The two can grow together in a dynamic environment of complete equal partnership.  That’s what I want.

As a kid in biology class, I favored reading about the symbiotic relationships in nature over parasitic or commensalitic ones. Why wouldn’t two organisms want to equally benefit from the relationship as opposed to one benefits and the other harmed or one benefits and other is indifferently affected?

Why do you need someone else to complete you? Don’t you love yourself to know that you are enough? Let’s go back to our little Greek mythology. Maybe the other half we are looking for is just ourselves. Weren’t we after all, just split up from ourselves?

No "You complete me" lines for this girl. I complete me. I am my own soulmate. 

My New Crush!! And What I Learned From Him

Smitten? Why, yes!!

As a girl who follows the UFC (Ultimate Fighting Championship), I get the pleasure of watching a plethora of attractive, sweaty, chiseled men in little clothing fighting, wrestling, flexing...ahem! Believe it or not, I did not start watching UFC to gawk at sexy athletes. I started following the sport after seeing a documentary on the training these athletes must endure in order to be best MMA (mixed martial arts) fighter.

Despite years of watching UFC, this is the first time I have developed a major crush on a fighter...and NOT for his prowess in the octagon.

If I we were in grade school and today was Valentine's Day, Georges St. Pierre would get a big fancy, glittery cut-out heart from me. I have to admit, I admire the man! I do not find him attractive because he is currently the undisputed UFC Welterweight Champion or because he is the top pound for pound fighter in his weight class (or because of the rock hard body and handsome face). I am crushing on him because he is gentleman.

UFC 100: GSP defends his belt again Thiago Alves, Las Vegas
I was totally there!!!

GSP, as he is known to fans, is a coach this season of the reality show the Ultimate Fighter. The premise of the show is based on two teams of amateur fighters led by two prominent UFC fighters. The contestants fight it out in the octagon and the last man standing wins a six figure contract with the UFC. As a coach, GSP is patient with his fighters and devotes his time to ensuring that these guys get the most out of their experience on the show. He wants the show to be about the contestants, rather than himself. He is humble when his team wins and is graceful when his team loses. Unlike the opposing coach on the show, GSP does not trash talk, pull pranks or lose his temper when things don't go his way. Even when provoked, my crush stays calm and collected. Instead of resorting to juvenile backlash, he channels his frustration into the training and takes it out in the ring, where it actually counts. Classy! I find all these traits really hot.

After being single for most of 2010, I have had the opportunity to reevaluate what I am attracted to in a man. I have reconfirmed, through my newly developed crush, that I definitely have a higher regard for a man's good values than for his money or looks. It's good looks that initially attract me, but it's wholesome values that keeps me attracted.

What are the top non-physical characteristics about someone that draws you to him or her?


By the way, if you are rich, hot and nice...don't hesitate to contact me :-)

Manscaping: Hairy Subject!

 Images my mind conjured up when I heard the word manscaping:

Male models (especially Mr. David Beckham in that Armani underwear ad campaign)

 Olympic swimmers 

Steve Carell in the waxing scene of The 40 Year Old Virgin

Jerry Seinfeld in “the Muffin Tops” episode of Seinfeld where he tries to even out his chest hair (particularly the end of the episode where he howls like a werewolf)

Kramer introducing Frank Constanza to the “Bro” or “Manzier” – That is just how my brain works OK? (Man + landscaping = Manscaping + thinking about Seinfeld + funny word combinations = Bro or Manzier)

Talk about going from “Ooohh” to “Uggghhh” in less than 10 seconds!

Manscaping: a term that refers to the shaving, waxing, trimming and or grooming of superfluous hair on a male body, including below the belt. The term was made popular by a 2004 episode of Queer Eye for the Straight Guy.

Example: “I find really hairy men unattractive, manscaping is definitely a prerequisite for dating me,” blogged the single girl.

The topic of manscaping came up the other day and it really got me curious about what percentage of men practice this delicate art. Yes, delicate indeed! There has to be a fine balance between stubbly hairs that are prickly and itchy and full blown Chewbacca. And I guess it is not so easy – that’s why a caveman can’t do it, right? 


I adore guys who manscape. Manscaping goes beyond making you more physically attractive - it's hygiene too! I appreciate men who actually put in the effort to keep themselves looking presentable with and without clothes on. It shows that you care about yourself and about the woman you are with. I am realistic, unless you are a model or a competitive swimmer, I don't expect you to be completely hairless. I actually prefer some body hair - it's more natural. 


This is the 21st century. Men, it's OK to be metrosexual. So pluck those rogue hairs, wax that unibrow and take a firm stance on deforestation of the jungle you might be living in. And if you are new to manscaping, make sure you have the appropriate tools and techniques. Don't use a mower where you only need a trimmer. We will take notice, you will score points. We do it for you, you should return the favor. 


Guys and gals out there- what are your opinions on manscaping? What do you prefer? And gals, would you ever tell your significant other he needs manscaping?