The Cat Lady Cometh: A Reflection on Being Alone

Single life has become more comfortable to me, like an old, over-sized sweater with deep sentimental value. I don't even mind going out alone like I did initially. Coffee for one, breakfast for one (although I tend to order for two and never finish any of it. What I can say? I'm a breakfast kinda girl)...museum and Forest Park explorations completely solo. I am relaxing into this time of self reflection and it feels as amazing as slipping your tired body into a steamy bubble bath. I even catch myself smiling when I'm cruising around in the convertible. Nowhere to go. No one to see. Just simply living in the moment. Relishing the sweet and warm kisses from the sun on my cheeks. Taking in the sensation of gentle caresses from the crisp autumn breeze through my hair.

Suddenly, my blissful and lovey-dovey single life honeymoon suffered the harsh frigidness of realism. It felt like a cold bitch slap to the soul. And it stung like hell.

A dear friend joked about how I have the potential of becoming a cat lady in my old age if I keep up this single life. The comment was humorous at first, but it really got me thinking. Cat lady? Me? I can't picture myself as some old disheveled, jilted granny-hoarder with a festive feline following. I do not like clutter, I plan on being fashionable well into my old age and I am still not 100% comfortable with the thought of being in a home full of fur-balls. But really, what will happen to me when I wake up one day weary of being alone? I am more than grateful to have loving family and friends, but a part of me yearns for a significant other.

My motto is, "It's better to be by yourself, than miserable with someone else." I simply do not believe in settling. The friend who teased me about being a future cat lady also asked if I thought my standards were either too high or too unrealistic. After some honest gut checking, my answer is a positive and resounding, "No." I am realistic and practical. None of my "requirements" are outlandish. Of course, I know it's going to be difficult finding that one man who has the qualities I want on paper plus that X-factor that sweeps me off my feet. I am a woman with incredible balance. It's going to take a very special someone to make me fall head over heels. I like to think I love myself enough to know I deserve to have it all.

So, after I took a step back from heavy contemplation and slipped back into my figurative honeymoon and bubble bath, I have learned that I am not afraid of being a "cat lady." I have resolved that it is going to be all or nothing. No settling. No selling myself short. If that day I so dread comes along, that day when I wake up weary of being alone...well, I know exactly where to find an animal shelter.

Maybe I will one day meet my knight in shining Beamer. Maybe I won't...and I'm OK with that. (OK for now, that is. Let's reassess in 5 years when I am 30 and we'll see if this delicate, youthful optimism survives the tides of time and cynicism).




Side Note: Technically, a Beamer/Beemer is a motorcycle by BMW and a Bimmer is a car by BMW. In case I have offend any BMW enthusiasts out there, I do know the difference. I just decided to go with Beamer since not many people realize this difference. If rappers can play around with words for the sake of flow, so can I.