Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The idiocy of the dunces out there
Or to take arms against a sea of dimwits
And blog about about them?
This is the beginning of a section I like to call "Silly-loquies." It shall be my stage to air my grievances, rant about and post hilarious things I observe in life (my own included). So now, if you with patient ears attend, what here shall miss, our toil shall strive to mend! (To all you Shakespeare buffs out there, that one was for you!)
Silly-loquy #1: Strange profiles on Match.com
As a busy, young professional woman, I signed up for an account on Match.com back in July (July 4th to be exact). I purchased the 3-month package, but ended up "hiding" my profile for a while because I had gotten so bogged down with work, I didn't have time to peruse Match.com. In addition, getting notices of "winks" and "e-mails" was clogging my mailbox and that was getting really annoying. I completely forgot to cancel after 3 months and got charged for another 3! Oh what a tragedy indeed! I figured since I already paid for it, I will just turn my profile back on and do some browsing. The romantic part of me says, "You never know who might be out there!" The frugal part of me says, "You better at least get your money's worth and look!" And the cynical part of me chimes in with, "Reading these profiles could be entertaining!"
So, without much further ado, the following are real excerpts from profiles on Match.com that got me scratching my head and laughing out loud:
1. "Im an intelligent, well educated guy...I have by batchlor's degree in..."
-Really? I mean, really??
2. "Quarks are the constituent particles of matter, along with electrons. Protons and neutrons are made of quarks, and when electrons decide to joint the fray, atoms are formed. When a bunch of atoms decide to socialize we end up with a lot of possibilities...We are constantly fooled by the electromagnetic force into thinking that we are solid, when, in fact, we are mostly empty space...I take fish oil, krill oil, vitamin D, lutein, glucosamine, chondroitin, MSM, and hyaluronic acid."
-Don't get me wrong, intelligence is big turn of for me. But all this info jammed packed into a profile for a dating website?
3. "l am a strong sensitive man that likes painting toenails..."
-Shivers.
4. "I read a LOT. I'm one of those nerds that's walking down the busy sidewalk reading and running into people. I read while I pump my gas, and if I'm really into a book, while waiting at a red light."
-Sir, have you heard of books on tape? They are SO much safer!!
5) "... i really do not like going to parties that often maybe once every three weeks to a month. i would rather hangout and talk to my friends and family or go the movies or a park. I enjoy working out its fun for me lol. I don't like drinking that often once a month is good enough for me, only really when I'm at a party. i feel like its really bad for you and it takes away from my workouts. i have never been to a club or want to go to a club its not my scene. I know I'm boring lol. i like watching TV, movies singing in the car. i joke around a lot. I'm very sarcastic but i don't have a sarcastic voice which sucks...The things i look for in a girl is a girl that hasn't been around a lot..."
-So you are looking for Emily Dickinson? (She was an American poet from the 1800s who was a recluse- barely left her own room)
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