Dining Etiquette: When You Feel Like "Pretty Woman" at a Fancy Dinner

Mix (64th floor of THEhotel), Las Vegas
I had the pleasure of committing a few dining faux pas here during a birthday dinner.
Photo courtesy of Google image.

I was inspired to write this entry by recent discussion over dining etiquette on a dinner date. As a girl who has been fortunate enough to dine at many upscale restaurants, I would like to share with my audience some things I learned from my dinning experiences as well as from an etiquette class I once took. I want to save you from the blunders and embarrassments I have had to live down.

Of course we all know not to speak with our mouths full, keep our elbows off the table and not slouch, but here are some very important etiquette that can be easily overlooked:

1. Wear appropriate attire. Keep in mind your company, the venue and the purpose of the dinner. 

I wore a sexy little black dress with patented leather stilettos to one of the fanciest restaurants in the country. My company was a friend I knew very well and the purpose of the dinner was because we were hungry for gourmet food. We were also in Las Vegas, so I wore a sexy dress to dinner in case we went out afterwards. I totally felt inappropriate. 

2. Sitting down (and standing up). Wait until the people of higher ranking or seniority are seated before you seat yourself. What exactly does that mean? Your significant other's parents, your boss and the Queen gets to be seated first. When these people stand up, you must also rise. I'm sure most of you know this already, but when a lady gets up, the gentlemen should as well. I hope none of you eat somewhere fancy with a lady who has bladder issues (hmm...this would make a great Detrol LA or Toviaz commericial)! 

3. The napkin. Either allow the server to place it on your lap or do it yourself. The napkin stays in your lap, do not tuck it like a bib. If you have to get up in the middle of dinner, loosely fold the napkin and set it on either side of your plate. Here's an interesting factoid! I read somewhere that the purpose of the napkin is to shield your lap from spills and NOT for wiping your face. Is anyone else aware of this?!

This invention is awesomely tacky! I love it!

4. Bread and butter. Remove from the community butter dish the amount you intend to use to abstain from going back and forth between your plate and the community dish (and prevent contamination of the community butter). When buttering your bread, tear the bread into bite size pieces and butter each piece one bite at time. This will prevent you from ungracefully shoving a piece of buttered bread into your face. Apparently, we can't use napkins to wipe butter off our face anyway! 

My companion brought this butter etiquette to my attention. I do this already because I get grossed out by the contamination factor of sharing butter-- I never knew it was an actual etiquette! 

5. Know the table setting. 

Remember to leave each item in its place. I made the mistake of moving
the bread plate closer to me, so I wouldn't have reach. The server continuously
moved my bread plate back to it's original position every time he passed by to
refill my bread. Embarrassing!! 

6. Eating. 

a. Spoon soup away from you and tip it towards you when you eat. When picking up food with a fork, do it with the tines facing down. 

I don't get the whole spoon away from you thing. My date suggested that if you repeatedly spoon towards yourself, it could seem like you are shoveling food in your face (like you're absolutely starving), not the least bit elegant. 

b. Cut food with the knife in your right hand the hold the food down with the fork (tines down) in your left hand. After you have sliced off a few pieces, place the knife down and transfer the fork to your right hand and begin eating. Chew. Swallow. Repeat. (Caveat, you are right handed). 

c. If eating a piece of meat, do not cut up the entire piece of meat into bite size pieces all at once. I have never seen this done, but if you are guilty of such atrocity, cut it out!

d. Eat as elegantly as you can. Don't make rude noises such as slurping sounds. 

e. Do not do the following at the table: blow your nose, apply makeup, use a toothpick. 

I am guilty of reapplying lip gloss at the table. It takes 5 seconds to reapply and a hundred times longer to leave the table. 

f. If you have to cough, cover with your napkin (the napkin will also help stifle the cough). 

g. If you have to go to the bathroom, just say "Excuse/Pardon me." Don't say I'm going to the bathroom-- people are eating, they don't need the imagery. 

The above list is by no means all encompassing. I strongly feel that if you follow the above general guidelines, you will be safe dining formally. If you ever dine with me, I will probably not adhere to all the rules at all times. I will, however, promise that you will be in the presence of a very neat and polite diner. 

What dining etiquette rules have you broken? Any good etiquettes you like to share? 

New Year's Resolutions & Wishes

With my favorite Top Chef, Richard Blais in Tampa Bay.
 I'm going to trade in the fine dining and valet parking scene for
more of the kitchen and grocery store parking lot scene in 2011.
For those who know me well, stop laughing and support me!!

Resolutions (things I can control)

1.       Eat out less & learn to cook. I will post my creations on the blog. And no, it won't be anything lame like spaghetti or mac 'n cheese. 

2.       Read and write more

3.       Apologize less. We say sorry for things we don't mean all the time. I think overusing that word devalues its meaning. I'm going to say, "Excuse me," next time I accidentally bump into someone. I am sure not remorseful for the bump, so why say, "I'm sorry?" 

4.       Procrastinate less.

5.       Spend more time with family.

6.       Be ready for swimsuit season when it arrives. I have inadvertently entered into a contest with a new acquaintance for who can get visible abs the quickest this year. I plan on coming out on top. 

7.       Be more assertive. 

8.       Be less inhibited. 

9.       Be more calm, cool and collected.

10.   Be more organized (in thought and in action).

Wishes (things I can’t control)

1.       Experience what Carrie Bradshaw from Sex and City refers to as “Real love. Ridiculous, inconvenient, consuming, can’t-live-without-each-other-love.”

2.       Get kissed in the rain.

3.       Find a four leaf clover.

4.       Be moved to tears in public. For those that know me, I'm a fairly stoic person on the surface. There is definitely a reservoir of emotions underneath it all, but I find it difficult to freely express. 

5.       Meet people who are as straightforward as I am. I'm all about efficiency. Let's just tell each other what we really want and save that valuable time we would have wasted beating around the bush. 

6.       Experience a random act of kindness. 

7.       Find a beautiful vintage book.

8.       Get complimented on having good form (weight lifting or running).

9.       Have someone make me blush intensely.

10. Come out winning in a fight if I were to be in one.  

Adventures in 2011

I'll spin your head right round, right round when
I write my bucket list down, down

As I was waiting for my vehicle to be serviced, I killed some time at a local bar with a Ketle One dirty martini. It was either the martini at 11:30AM on a Wednesday or the fact that it was close to the end of the year that inspired me to write my 2011 Bucket List (and no, I don't plan on dying in 2011).

My Top Ten (in no particular order) & Why:

1. Run a half marathon under 2 hours 

I want to run a full marathon before I turn 30, this will be a good start. I like challenges that engage both the body and the mind and I want to see if I can do better than my first attempt at a half marathon 5 years ago. 

2. Get visible abs

I want to have a photo of myself looking ridiculously jaw dropping in a skimpy bathing suit. So when I am wrinkly and saggy, I can say to myself, "You lived your life to the fullest and pushed your body to be the best it can be." Here's to living without regrets. 

3. Send a gorgeous man a drink from across the bar

This is purely an exercise of building confidence (I do plan on lookin' smokin' to for this). I have never sent a man a drink or used a pick up line before because (a) I have never had to- I'm usually on the receiving end of such & (b) If I wanted to, I never had the guts to do it. I have no intentions of picking up anyone, I just want to do it, just to do it. My worst nightmare would be if I sent the drink and the man's wife/girlfriend/boo returns from the bathroom and gets really jealous. To that imaginary woman, you should feel honored that you are with a man hot enough to be worthy of me sending him a drink, so chill out!! 

4. Sky dive

I am afraid of heights. I just want to do one tandem dive to get it out of my system. Besides, I hear the adrenaline rush is quite the experience. The only way #4 would not happen is if my loving parents get overwhelmingly worried and I respect their concerns. No need of putting mom through all that stress (I might just do it without telling them first). 

5. Travel to a new continent

There are 3 continents I haven't been to: Africa, South America & Antarctica. It's my life dream to travel to all 7. It will most likely be Africa - I hear the pyramids in Egypt calling my name. 

6. Do a pull up

After I admitted I couldn't do one, a friend asked me, "What happens if you fall off a balcony?" To which I replied, "Well, I guess I would die!" So, I'm going to master the pull up so I can prevent myself from hypothetically going, "SPLAT!"

7. Learn how to pole dance

This is kind of #2 & 3. Building confidence and working on getting visible abs simultaneously. I don't plan on showcasing any moves, I just want a fun workout that makes me feel like I can conquer the world in 5 inch heels. 

8. Finance the construction of a water well in a third world country via Charity:Water

I don't make a ton of money, but I make enough to live very comfortably. I also make enough to splurge and waste money very comfortably as well. I feel I have been selfish with what I have and want to give back. Charity:Water is a great organization - check it out and contact me if you want to help. 

9. Increase my business growth 

In order to be a well rounded individual, I believe one must have personal as well as professional goals. I just started being a manager about 10 months ago at the age of 24. There is still so much to learn and so much I can improve on. I want to do far better than I have done this year and develop myself professionally. 

10. Engage in volunteer work

I wondered where all my time went and this past fall, I started a calendar to track what I actually did when I'm not working, working out or doing those necessary daily things (sleeping, eating, paying bills). Most of my time was devoted to a highly active social life - going out with friends, going on dates and traveling. I want to have my cake and eat it too. I want to still flutter my social butterfly wings, but I want to prioritize things and fit some monthly volunteer work in as well. Quality over quantity, I suppose. 

I will post updates when each item gets crossed off - hopefully with great photos too!!

Side notes:

Here's a terrible pickup line inspired by the bucket list, "If you think sending you a drink is sexy, wait 'til you see what I can do with a pole." I think I would start laughing hysterically before I can even finish saying it.

The Male Mind: A $4 Inside Scoop

Six months ago, I decided to put myself back on the market. I felt I had healed enough after ending my long-term relationship and was ready to start dating again. But where do I begin? I haven't gone on a first date in four years! My "game" was so rusty, I wanted to give myself a tetanus shot. Then all of the sudden, the clouds parted and a ray of beautiful sunlight descended from the heavens and showed me the answer. In reality, the window washers came to clean the windows of my loft on the sixth floor and I wanted to sit in the living room and pretend to read a magazine in hopes of checking out some hot men in uniforms dangling outside my window from harnesses. I happened to pick up my ex-boyfriend's issue of Men's Health and realized that the magazine wasn't kidding when it put on the cover, "tons of useful stuff."

I am completely infatuated with Men's Health. It has everything a girl like me could ask for- insider tips into the male mind, fitness tips, recipes, tons of other practical information AND pictures of sexy men on every page. 

Top 5 useful things I learned from reading Men's Health: 

1. What men are worried about (It's pretty much the same as us ladies! Hair, wrinkles, weight, how to attract the opposite sex, etc.)

2. What men look for in a relationship, turn offs/turn ons & what they think they know about women

3. How men tend to deal with stuff that arise in relationships and work

4. What techniques men are trying to hone in order to pick us up

5. What techniques men are trying to hone in order to thrill us in the bedroom 

Of course every man is unique and has a different takes on #1-5, but getting a little insider information put me a little more at ease as I stepped back into the dating world. Knowing that men stress about the same things I  do makes going on dates a tad less intimidating. Ladies, it's a wealth of information for only 4 bucks and trust me, it's worth it.

Side notes:
1. When I told my ex-boyfriend I was reading his Men's Health subscriptions for dating research, he replied, "That's OK, I took some of your old Cosmos when I moved the rest of my stuff out of the same reason!"

2. Information in Men's Health is so straight forward and without all the frills. One of my most favorite section is "How to Do Everything Better," in which you get mini lessons on things like how to to pour the perfect glass of champagne or how to prevent your windows from fogging. These tips are so much more practical than how to get straight, sexy hair (what woman doesn't know how to use a flat iron?). Besides, I already wake up in the morning with straight, sexy hair : )

Re-Break My Heart, Say You Don't Love Me Again

Unlike Toni Braxton, this girl isn't afraid of being left out in the rain.

During a light discussion about dating over dinner with a friend last night, something profound dawned on me. As we talked about our fears of having our precious hearts shattered, I suddenly realized that I have arrived at that stage of life where I am comfortable and confident with myself enough that I am not afraid of having my heart broken. Of course I don't want to have my feelings hurt, but I know that I am strong and resilient enough to withstand the potential aftermath. I have come to the realization that I am ready to fall head over stilettos without a helmet or knee pads!

If love is a game, I want it to be rugby. I am ready to play hard, be thrilled and be fearless. Experiencing love and experiencing the lost of it is like a rite of passage. Why shy away from it? Why not embrace it full force? Sure, it could end up horribly, but isn't the chance of finding that grand love worth the risk? The grand love you may find could even be more love for yourself. I want to convince my dear friend that heart break is, after all, just another part of growing up and self-discovery. Don't be afraid of that pain, don't be afraid of being left in the rain. If you ever find yourself stuck in what seems to be a torrential downpour, remember to not just stand there...remember that around the corner, there could be a big awning or even a gorgeous stranger willing to share his or her umbrella with you. 

Smile-worthy Notes:

I got hit up with a holiday theme pickup line today, "Make my wish come true, all I want for Christmas is you!" 

Capitalism: A Taste Story

My first order of business after clearing immigration/customs upon returning from Vietnam was to get McDonald's. I wasn't in the mood for McDonald's. I wasn't even hungry. I was yearning for the flavor of America. The taste of capitalistic efficiency, equality, peace of mind and comfort. For around $6, I got all of that and a little more. And yes, when you are tired and jet lagged from 27 hours of travel, these abstract notions were tangible in the warmth of a cheeseburger and a medium order of fries. Who knew that mass produced food can be so enlightening to a foodie like me? There I was, in Terminal 2 of Chicago O'Hare, happy as a clam.

1. Capitalistic efficiency - It took me approximately 100 seconds to get my food after a swift swipe of my debit card. The line was more than 15 people deep with more lining up still. The team of about 11-12 employees behind the counter was working at a frantic speed, cranking out white paper bags of fast food and delivering them with smiles. Time is money and cash registers were cha-chinging with every passing second. This was a far cry from the incompetence I observed while overseas. Lines were long. Workers were unorganized and unfriendly. When you are used to a certain expectation for years, enduring countless repeated inefficiencies was frustrating to say the least. It also got me wondering about the economic growth of Vietnam...but that's a different story.

2. Equality - In America, we like to think everyone deserves to be treated equally. If Barack Obama ordered a cheeseburger from McDonald's, he would get the exact same thing as me or the guy next to me. His order may be served up with a bigger smile, but you get the point. The prices for the food were listed brightly and clearly. You knew exactly how much you're going to pay and exactly what you're going to get. Sounds simple enough, but don't take it for granted. While I was with my friend abroad, we were ripped off many times. He was often being overcharged because he was a white man in a suit on the streets of Hanoi. I was often being overcharged because I was not a local. Sometimes there were no price tags and when there were price tags, you couldn't trust them.

Social Experiment: For some reason Vietnamese people thought I was either Japanese or Korean (I've actually been mistaken for Japanese since I was a child). I decided to walk into a clothing store and pretend I did not speak Vietnamese. I asked for the price of a wool coat in my accent-free English and the saleswomen actually talked amongst themselves, mumbling about how much more to charge me because I was a foreigner. I shook my head in disgust and walked straight out. I was overwhelmed. I felt like I was suffocating from the injustice. I understand this is a poor country and everyone needs to make a buck, but at what cost of morality? Of course, these things happen in America all the time, but not as blatantly and with such disregard.

3. Peace of mind and comfort - I knew the food I ate was safe and that the McDonald's has been inspected by a government official who was not bribed (99% sure). I knew there was some sort of quality control in this place. This was the country of voluntary recalls. Where the desire for safety and quality is driven by capitalism. Money talks and it told me that any scandal over unsafe anything meant less cha-chinging at the cash registers.

It pains me to think about how the things I witnessed and experienced were the product of years of war and civil unrest. I am no expert in history or politics, but maybe the lack of development is due to the constant occupation by so many forces over the past few centuries - from the Chinese, French and Japanese to the Americans. I wish for improvement in my former home country and hope that my experience will be a bit different upon my next trip back. But for now, I am glad to call America my home. I missed the simple things I took for granted. I missed the familiarity of everything. I missed home! I was grateful to come home and more grateful that my parents made the bold decision to move to America 18 years ago. America is not perfect, but it is a country with more basic luxuries than a lot of other places.

Footnote:
Hours later, my stomach didn't feel all that great. I had been eating fairly healthy and a big dose of saturated fat did not do me good. The taste of capitalism may be delicious at times, but it doesn't come without consequence.

Super Woman Sunday

Entrance to the Temple of Literature- Hanoi, Vietnam

Calling my Sunday jammed packed with activities is an understatement. I woke up on a boat in Halong Bay, Vietnam and had a small breakfast on board. I was scheduled to take a smaller boat into the harbour, but was delayed due to some mechanical malfunctions. After waiting for what seemed like an eternity, I finally set foot on land and took a bumpy, 3 hour long ride in a rickety old van back to Hanoi. After we got to Hanoi, I had to hustle to make a graduation ceremony my friend, a law professor at the Royal Melbourne Institute of Technology in Vietnam, was in. Unfortunately, I had forgotten to pack dress shoes - all I had were neon green flip flops and tennis shoes. The ceremony was held in the Temple of Literature, a 1,000 year old building home to the oldest school in Vietnam. I had to be seated at at 5:30PM and all I had on were jogging pants, an athletic top and sneakers.

Do I abandon my friend and wait outside? Do I attend the ceremony in my pathetic clothing and bring shame upon myself sitting amongst the elite and inside a building of such high honor?  At 5:15PM I decided to go for it. I had on sprinting flats, might as well put them to good use! I ran around the Temple, across the busy street (narrowly getting ran over my mopeds and cars), down the crowded avenue and into a shoe store. I was feeling like The Flash, but a more sweaty version. "I need at pair of black pumps, this size (as I held up my sprinting flats)! I need this now, please!" The shoe store owner and her daughter looked at me with wide eyes for 2 seconds and quickly sprung into action. Within 60 seconds, I had tried on a pair of patented leather pumps that was a Cinderella-worthy fit. I paid for the shoes, ran back to Temple, snaked my away around to the back where the professors in the procession were gowing (and where my friend had stored our suitcase) and changed right then and there. I put my dress over my tank top and removed my pants from underneath. I felt very, very wrong for changing in a place of worship with a few men lurking around. By U.S. standards, no biggie. But my traditional Vietnamese standards, what I was doing could be considered appalling! Thank goodness everyone was too busy to notice me. By this time, it was 5:29PM and I was fully dressed. I even had pretty pearls around my neck to look a little more formal. I was seated by 5:33PM by a volunteer and more guests were still being ushered in.

The Flash!!

The ceromony lasted a little after 7PM and after the waiting for my friend to finish his photo-ops with graduates and other faculty members, it was time to catch a cab and hustle back to my friend's apartment to pack. After that, I had to hail another cab to the airport to catch my flight back to the United States. I also had to write some last minute postcards! After bidding my best friend a sad goodbye, I made it the airport with exactly 1 hour to get my plane tickets, make it through customs and find my gate.

When my butt hit the airplane seat, I sighed one of the biggest sighs of relief. No more running. No more huslting. I felt like Super Woman. I kicked of my shoes, wrapped my purple airplane-issued blanket around me and sunk into my seat. I put on my headphones and started to watch the movie Eat, Pray, Love.

So within the span of 12 hours, I had traveled by sea, by land and by air. I am exhausted, but a little proud of myself for getting so much squeezed into those 12 hours.

I'm currently blogging from Icheon International Airport in Seoul, South Korea. Yet another flight to catch in about half an hour. Good thing I can see my gate from here! Tune in for my review of Incheon! This has got to be the best airport in the world! For very little money, I was able to eat, drink, nap AND shower in a private lounge! Gotta down this cappucino and grab my luggage...until next time!

Disgrace #1

For those who have been bamboozled by my magnetic and winsome personality into thinking I am this graceful being, the best thing since sliced bagels...these are my humiliating confessions. Confessions to truths so atrociously embarrassing, one would need to do more than dig a hole to hide in it. One would need to a dig a hole all the way to China and change one's name to Dum Fu Hai Ding. Welcome to the section titled "Oh the Humilty!"

Boat ride on a part of the
Mekong Delta River with my
bamboo hat. 

I traveled with my father to visit his hometown of My Tho, Vietnam in spring of 2008. This was the place where my hero grew up. A place of peaceful, luscious rice paddies and wholesome peasant life. After visiting the family tomb and lighting incense for the ancestors, my father took me to see the people he grew up around. I was looking forward to meeting the village elders and hearing them reminisce about stories of yesteryear. The nostalgia! The history! I had all this positive chi flowing until...

Dad: Hello! Hello! So good to see you! You remember my daughter don't you Ba Hai? You remember Phuong right? She was probably less than 3 years old the last time you saw her. Look how tall she's grown! 

In my mind: Of course! How could I forget? She was that adorable little girl who used to play no nicely with the other children! 

Ba Hai (reality): Of course! How could I forget? She was that rambunctious little girl who used to pee into a funnel standing up when she played make-believe that she was a boy!

Oh yes, she did!

Mortified. Stunned. Face frozen. Botox face. Good news. China is only across the border. I can still make it. Where's that damn shovel?!?!   

Ba Hai must have been at least 80 years old. She had seen everything. Foreign occupation. War. The rebuilding of a nation. And apparently, she had seen me pee into a plastic funnel by the pond out back and remembered it 2 decades later at the drop of a bamboo hat. 

On the way home, my father turned to me and said, "I can't believe you peed into a funnel. In public! How did you realize the difference in male and female anatomy? How did you know boys had penises when you were less than 3? My little daughter was so smart!" (Gotta love dad!)

My dad in a tunnel.
He was always a support parent.
I hope China is nice this time of year. 

The Cat Lady Cometh: A Reflection on Being Alone

Single life has become more comfortable to me, like an old, over-sized sweater with deep sentimental value. I don't even mind going out alone like I did initially. Coffee for one, breakfast for one (although I tend to order for two and never finish any of it. What I can say? I'm a breakfast kinda girl)...museum and Forest Park explorations completely solo. I am relaxing into this time of self reflection and it feels as amazing as slipping your tired body into a steamy bubble bath. I even catch myself smiling when I'm cruising around in the convertible. Nowhere to go. No one to see. Just simply living in the moment. Relishing the sweet and warm kisses from the sun on my cheeks. Taking in the sensation of gentle caresses from the crisp autumn breeze through my hair.

Suddenly, my blissful and lovey-dovey single life honeymoon suffered the harsh frigidness of realism. It felt like a cold bitch slap to the soul. And it stung like hell.

A dear friend joked about how I have the potential of becoming a cat lady in my old age if I keep up this single life. The comment was humorous at first, but it really got me thinking. Cat lady? Me? I can't picture myself as some old disheveled, jilted granny-hoarder with a festive feline following. I do not like clutter, I plan on being fashionable well into my old age and I am still not 100% comfortable with the thought of being in a home full of fur-balls. But really, what will happen to me when I wake up one day weary of being alone? I am more than grateful to have loving family and friends, but a part of me yearns for a significant other.

My motto is, "It's better to be by yourself, than miserable with someone else." I simply do not believe in settling. The friend who teased me about being a future cat lady also asked if I thought my standards were either too high or too unrealistic. After some honest gut checking, my answer is a positive and resounding, "No." I am realistic and practical. None of my "requirements" are outlandish. Of course, I know it's going to be difficult finding that one man who has the qualities I want on paper plus that X-factor that sweeps me off my feet. I am a woman with incredible balance. It's going to take a very special someone to make me fall head over heels. I like to think I love myself enough to know I deserve to have it all.

So, after I took a step back from heavy contemplation and slipped back into my figurative honeymoon and bubble bath, I have learned that I am not afraid of being a "cat lady." I have resolved that it is going to be all or nothing. No settling. No selling myself short. If that day I so dread comes along, that day when I wake up weary of being alone...well, I know exactly where to find an animal shelter.

Maybe I will one day meet my knight in shining Beamer. Maybe I won't...and I'm OK with that. (OK for now, that is. Let's reassess in 5 years when I am 30 and we'll see if this delicate, youthful optimism survives the tides of time and cynicism).




Side Note: Technically, a Beamer/Beemer is a motorcycle by BMW and a Bimmer is a car by BMW. In case I have offend any BMW enthusiasts out there, I do know the difference. I just decided to go with Beamer since not many people realize this difference. If rappers can play around with words for the sake of flow, so can I.

The Soulmate Situation

Thank you, Hollywood 

When people (and by people, I mean mostly women) talk about relationships, they tend to bring up the word “soulmate.” Your soulmate is supposed to be the person with whom you strongly connect on many levels (spiritual, mental, emotional, sexual, etc.). Some argue that there is only one soulmate for each person and others argue that there can be many soulmates.

Before I delve into my opinions on this “soulmate” situation, I would like to take a step back and give some background on where this notion of soulmates may have originated. The ancient Greek playwright Aristophanes presented the mythology of soulmates in Plato’s Symposium.  According to legend, humans once had four arms, four legs and one head with two faces. Since Zeus feared that humans would become too powerful, he sliced them in half with his lightning bolts and fated them to wander the world searching for their other halves for the rest of eternity. He also threatened that if they posed any threats to him in the future, he would split them in half once more and they would hop on only one leg.

I was in a long-term relationship. An extremely loving and supportive one, I might add. It took me a long time, but I somehow mustered up the courage to let it go. Something was obviously missing and at the time, I just didn’t know what.  All I knew was that I needed time. Time to reflect.  Time to devote to myself and only myself.

At first, single life was difficult. I missed all the good things that came with the “relationship package.” But when I discovered the missing puzzle piece, single life became the greatest thing that has ever happened to me. The only thing missing was the ability to fully love myself and be happy independent of someone else.

Don’t get me wrong, I am not an island, entire of myself. A wise friend once told me that the best type of relationship is one in which both partners are already happy by his/herself and don't necessarily need another person in the equation to complete him/her.  When those two people come together, the relationship is a more stable and long-lasting one. No person has to “carry” the other one in anyway. No person has to act as the other one’s crutch or make up for the other one’s short comings.  The two can grow together in a dynamic environment of complete equal partnership.  That’s what I want.

As a kid in biology class, I favored reading about the symbiotic relationships in nature over parasitic or commensalitic ones. Why wouldn’t two organisms want to equally benefit from the relationship as opposed to one benefits and the other harmed or one benefits and other is indifferently affected?

Why do you need someone else to complete you? Don’t you love yourself to know that you are enough? Let’s go back to our little Greek mythology. Maybe the other half we are looking for is just ourselves. Weren’t we after all, just split up from ourselves?

No "You complete me" lines for this girl. I complete me. I am my own soulmate. 

To Hell with “It’s the Thought That Counts”

What my postcard said:
I told the dolphins "Hi!" for you & they said "Hi!" back ;-) I will tell you all about it when I see you.
-Phuong

Personally, I think the phrase “It’s the thought that counts” is equivalent to an admission of failure.  This all dawned on me when I got really irked over my failure to properly send someone a postcard from my trip to Mexico.  I wrote down the correct address and everything, but I neglected to include “United States of America.” Obviously, I am not accustomed to writing my own country’s name on whatever letter or package I send...we just don't do that domestically and it’s something that can easily be forgotten when one is abroad.  I have sent dozens of postcards from my trips around the world (I have even sent some via papal mail) and they have all reached their intended destinations. Why did I fail this time? Perhaps it was due to lack of planning.

From now on, for me, “It’s the thought that counts” is not going to hack it anymore. I am replacing that worthless phrase with “It’s the execution that counts.” To show someone you thought of him/her, you must carry out your objective or else it’s just meaningless. Everyone has good intentions, but we all know where the road paved with good intentions leads.

Move Over Hamlet!!

To rant, or not to rant: that is the question:

Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer

The idiocy of the dunces out there

Or to take arms against a sea of dimwits 

And blog about about them?

This is the beginning of a section I like to call "Silly-loquies." It shall be my stage to air my grievances, rant about and post hilarious things I observe in life (my own included). So now, if you with patient ears attend, what here shall miss, our toil shall strive to mend! (To all you Shakespeare buffs out there, that one was for you!)

Silly-loquy #1: Strange profiles on Match.com 

As a busy, young professional woman, I signed up for an account on Match.com back in July (July 4th to be exact). I purchased the 3-month package, but ended up "hiding" my profile for a while because I had gotten so bogged down with work, I didn't have time to peruse Match.com. In addition, getting notices of "winks" and "e-mails" was clogging my mailbox and that was getting really annoying. I completely forgot to cancel after 3 months and got charged for another 3! Oh what a tragedy indeed! I figured since I already paid for it, I will just turn my profile back on and do some browsing. The romantic part of me says, "You never know who might be out there!" The frugal part of me says, "You better at least get your money's worth and look!" And the cynical part of me chimes in with, "Reading these profiles could be entertaining!" 

So, without much further ado, the following are real excerpts from profiles on Match.com that got me scratching my head and laughing out loud: 

1. "Im an intelligent, well educated guy...I have by batchlor's degree in..."

-Really? I mean, really??

2. "Quarks are the constituent particles of matter, along with electrons. Protons and neutrons are made of quarks, and when electrons decide to joint the fray, atoms are formed. When a bunch of atoms decide to socialize we end up with a lot of possibilities...We are constantly fooled by the electromagnetic force into thinking that we are solid, when, in fact, we are mostly empty space...I take fish oil, krill oil, vitamin D, lutein, glucosamine, chondroitin, MSM, and hyaluronic acid."

-Don't get me wrong, intelligence is big turn of for me. But all this info jammed packed into a profile for a dating website? 

3. "l am a strong sensitive man that likes painting toenails..."

-Shivers. 

4. "I read a LOT. I'm one of those nerds that's walking down the busy sidewalk reading and running into people. I read while I pump my gas, and if I'm really into a book, while waiting at a red light."

-Sir, have you heard of books on tape? They are SO much safer!!

5) "... i really do not like going to parties that often maybe once every three weeks to a month. i would rather hangout and talk to my friends and family or go the movies or a park. I enjoy working out its fun for me lol. I don't like drinking that often once a month is good enough for me, only really when I'm at a party. i feel like its really bad for you and it takes away from my workouts. i have never been to a club or want to go to a club its not my scene. I know I'm boring lol. i like watching TV, movies singing in the car. i joke around a lot. I'm very sarcastic but i don't have a sarcastic voice which sucks...The things i look for in a girl is a girl that hasn't been around a lot..."

-So you are looking for Emily Dickinson? (She was an American poet from the 1800s who was a recluse- barely left her own room)

My New Crush!! And What I Learned From Him

Smitten? Why, yes!!

As a girl who follows the UFC (Ultimate Fighting Championship), I get the pleasure of watching a plethora of attractive, sweaty, chiseled men in little clothing fighting, wrestling, flexing...ahem! Believe it or not, I did not start watching UFC to gawk at sexy athletes. I started following the sport after seeing a documentary on the training these athletes must endure in order to be best MMA (mixed martial arts) fighter.

Despite years of watching UFC, this is the first time I have developed a major crush on a fighter...and NOT for his prowess in the octagon.

If I we were in grade school and today was Valentine's Day, Georges St. Pierre would get a big fancy, glittery cut-out heart from me. I have to admit, I admire the man! I do not find him attractive because he is currently the undisputed UFC Welterweight Champion or because he is the top pound for pound fighter in his weight class (or because of the rock hard body and handsome face). I am crushing on him because he is gentleman.

UFC 100: GSP defends his belt again Thiago Alves, Las Vegas
I was totally there!!!

GSP, as he is known to fans, is a coach this season of the reality show the Ultimate Fighter. The premise of the show is based on two teams of amateur fighters led by two prominent UFC fighters. The contestants fight it out in the octagon and the last man standing wins a six figure contract with the UFC. As a coach, GSP is patient with his fighters and devotes his time to ensuring that these guys get the most out of their experience on the show. He wants the show to be about the contestants, rather than himself. He is humble when his team wins and is graceful when his team loses. Unlike the opposing coach on the show, GSP does not trash talk, pull pranks or lose his temper when things don't go his way. Even when provoked, my crush stays calm and collected. Instead of resorting to juvenile backlash, he channels his frustration into the training and takes it out in the ring, where it actually counts. Classy! I find all these traits really hot.

After being single for most of 2010, I have had the opportunity to reevaluate what I am attracted to in a man. I have reconfirmed, through my newly developed crush, that I definitely have a higher regard for a man's good values than for his money or looks. It's good looks that initially attract me, but it's wholesome values that keeps me attracted.

What are the top non-physical characteristics about someone that draws you to him or her?


By the way, if you are rich, hot and nice...don't hesitate to contact me :-)

My Short Term Bucket List

I believe that you are more likely to accomplish goals when you write them down. Your goals can be as realistic or as fantastic as you want them to be, but writing them down is always the first step to making them come true. After I turned 25, I updated my "bucket list" because there were things I have already accomplished and I have found new interests worthy of pursuit!

Here are things from the list I made as a 19 year old that I have been able to cross off:  

1. See Rome and eat a slice of pizza by the Pantheon (and eat gelato by the Trevi Fountain too)

2. See an opera at the Sydney Opera House

3. Snorkel in the Great Barrier Reefs

4. Backpack through New Zealand and take a boat down Milford Sound

5. Swim with the dolphins 

Here are some things on my list I hope to get crossed off by time I turn 30:

1. Cruise down the Nile River and ride a camel across the desert

2. Run a marathon

3. Get kissed passionately under the Eiffel Tower (or on a gondola in Venice)

4. Sleep in an Irish Castle

5. Travel to all 7 continents (yes, Antarctica too)

I never thought I would do anything of the things on my list when I wrote them down as dreamy-eyed teenage girl...it was more just fantasizing. I didn't have that much money as a student, but I found ways to fund all those bucket list items without having to take out loans/borrow money. It just takes dedication, planning and imagination!

What things are on your to do lists? What are your wildest dreams? What's stopping you?

By the way, if you know of any amazing eligible bachelors out there that can help me cross off #3, don't hesitate to let me know!! 

Manscaping: Hairy Subject!

 Images my mind conjured up when I heard the word manscaping:

Male models (especially Mr. David Beckham in that Armani underwear ad campaign)

 Olympic swimmers 

Steve Carell in the waxing scene of The 40 Year Old Virgin

Jerry Seinfeld in “the Muffin Tops” episode of Seinfeld where he tries to even out his chest hair (particularly the end of the episode where he howls like a werewolf)

Kramer introducing Frank Constanza to the “Bro” or “Manzier” – That is just how my brain works OK? (Man + landscaping = Manscaping + thinking about Seinfeld + funny word combinations = Bro or Manzier)

Talk about going from “Ooohh” to “Uggghhh” in less than 10 seconds!

Manscaping: a term that refers to the shaving, waxing, trimming and or grooming of superfluous hair on a male body, including below the belt. The term was made popular by a 2004 episode of Queer Eye for the Straight Guy.

Example: “I find really hairy men unattractive, manscaping is definitely a prerequisite for dating me,” blogged the single girl.

The topic of manscaping came up the other day and it really got me curious about what percentage of men practice this delicate art. Yes, delicate indeed! There has to be a fine balance between stubbly hairs that are prickly and itchy and full blown Chewbacca. And I guess it is not so easy – that’s why a caveman can’t do it, right? 


I adore guys who manscape. Manscaping goes beyond making you more physically attractive - it's hygiene too! I appreciate men who actually put in the effort to keep themselves looking presentable with and without clothes on. It shows that you care about yourself and about the woman you are with. I am realistic, unless you are a model or a competitive swimmer, I don't expect you to be completely hairless. I actually prefer some body hair - it's more natural. 


This is the 21st century. Men, it's OK to be metrosexual. So pluck those rogue hairs, wax that unibrow and take a firm stance on deforestation of the jungle you might be living in. And if you are new to manscaping, make sure you have the appropriate tools and techniques. Don't use a mower where you only need a trimmer. We will take notice, you will score points. We do it for you, you should return the favor. 


Guys and gals out there- what are your opinions on manscaping? What do you prefer? And gals, would you ever tell your significant other he needs manscaping? 

The Second Most Dangerous Place in the World!

If Iraq was the most dangerous place in the world, then the second most dangerous place would, hands down, have to be the parking lot of a dim sum restaurant on a busy Sunday morning.

All kidding aside, how did Asians get pegged for being bad drivers? If something is a stereotype, then there must be something to back it up, right? I can't seem to find any statistics that prove Asians are bad drivers. However, I can see why Asian immigrants would have trouble driving in America. Have you seen the traffic in Tokyo, Mumbai or in my insanely congested original hometown of Ho Chi Minh City? Overpopulation and different (or lack there of) traffic laws will definitely have an impact on someone's driving.

As for me, I have had two speeding tickets to my name and a couple non-noteworthy fender benders. Pretty good for being a woman AND Asian huh?

Do you have any anecdotal encounters with a "bad Asian driver?" What is your opinion of this stereotype?

This is not good bye, not even close

This is a letter to my best friend. I have not told him I have posted this. I hope he finds it after he has departed, maybe read it at an airport somewhere (the theatrical part of me also hopes there would be the acoustic version of "The Scientist" by Coldplay softly playing in the background).  Somethings are just too difficult to say. He is leaving America for an exciting position overseas. Everything fell into place for him so quickly, that he only had a week to pack up and move. Only a week to settle affairs. Only a week to say good bye to family and friends. It will take me longer than a week to process all this, but this will have to do for now.

To my best friend,

I will not say I can't believe this is all happening and so fast. I will not say that I can't imagine life without you. I will not say good bye to you.

I will say that I am beyond elated that you have been bestowed this great opportunity to live and work abroad. We use to sit around and talk about all the "what ifs" and my friend, one of the "what ifs" has become reality for you! I am also glad everything happened in a time of your life when you are not tied down by other obligations.

I will say that I can't imagine what my life would be like without having had you in it. We met when I was on the brink of adulthood, when I had not yet define who I was. I love the person I have grown to become and you have definitely had a major part in my transformation. Through the past years, you have been a dedicated friend, a strong support system, an honest mentor and so much more. You have seen my hideous side, the one that can be angry, judgmental, selfish and irrational. You have helped me reflect upon myself to correct those flaws. You have been the only person that I have allowed to see me completely raw and vulnerable. You have even seen me cry. Through the hard times, you have taught me to be confident and believe in myself. Through the hard times, you have always been there, even when I have taken my frustrations out on you and hurt you. I will forever be indebted to you for everything you have been to me and for everything you have done for me. Looking at the unfinished tapestry of my life, I can see where you have interlaced the warp and weft of yourself...I find these parts one of the most beautiful and they will never unravel.

I will say that I will miss you immensely. I have that feeling I get when I have misplaced something of great value - I know it is not lost, it is just out there somewhere. You and I both know the connection we have is strong enough to span both distance and time. Just know that no matter where you end up, even when you are half a world away and your sunrises are my sunsets, you will always have a home in my heart. Just know that I will love you until the day I am no longer capable of conscious thoughts and emotions (overly theatrical? definitely, but I don't know how else I could have put it).

My friend, until we meet again, I hope that Fortune smiles upon you and keeps you safe,

Phuong

It's the Little Things!

The past 7 days has truly been complicated and draining, but I was fortunate enough to spot the little things that happened along the way that brought me such simple joys:

1. Finding $10 in the coat from last season

2. Waking up thinking I was late for work when I really have another hour to spend in bed

3. Thinking I was going to miss my flight and getting an automated phone call from the airline saying that my flight has been delayed.

4. Sitting on the back of the plane, the flight attendant brings around the tray of snacks, there is one bag of cookies that you really want left over and the person right in front of you opts for the cheesy crackers...score!

5. Hitting all the green lights on Kingshighway (the stretch in front of Barnes') - that feat was just short of a miracle. 

What little things make you happy? Were you able to spot life's little blessings? 

My Michelin Star Mission

My new pursuit: visit as many 3 Michelin Star Restaurants in the United States as I can (afford to).

What is a Michelin Star? 

The Michelin Guide was published in France in 1900 to help travelers find good establishments on their journey. Over a century later, it has become the gold standard guide for gourmet dining. The Michelin Guide employs highly qualified inspectors to anonymously visit hotels and restaurants. 

1 Star = A very good restaurant in its category

2 Stars = Excellent cooking and worth a detour

3 Stars = Exceptional cuisine and worth the journey

Restaurants with 3 Michelin Stars are rare- only about 80 restaurants in the world have this distinguished honor. There are only a handful of them in the United States and my new mission is to seek out them out, educate myself on the menu and enjoy utterly ecstatic culinary experiences! 

My First 3 Michelin Star Experience

I read about Joel Robuchon in a magazine a few years ago and was fascinated with the idea of one day eating at his restaurant. Getting to live out my gastronomic fantasy was pure bliss!

The restaurant sent a limo to the hotel to pick up my dining companion and I. We were driven to the back of the MGM Grande, where we were escorted by a beautiful woman in a long black gown through a big wrought iron gate and through the Mansion's corridors. We were greeted by the host upon arrival, an attractive French man in a very sharp suit. The ambiance of the restaurant was incredible and the furnishings were so luxurious- velvet seats, a beautiful chandelier and even a foot stool under the table! We had about 8 servers throughout dinner - each person had a specific task (utensils, water, drinks, bread, entrees, etc). We had a new sets of utensils with every course. It was very overwhelming.  

After our cocktails arrived, a bread cart with at least 20 types of breads was rolled out for our selection. I had a "Pretty Woman" moment because I had never been anywhere so fancy (I had not even set foot in a limo until tonight). Apparently, your bread plate stays on your left hand side at all times. I kept moving my bread plate in front of me and the server kept moving it back to the left side when he visited the table to bring more bread. My friend finally just told me, "Hey, the bread stays on the side." I wonder why he didn't tell me sooner! The menu was in French with English description below.  I didn't even attempt to read the French titles out of fear of further embarrassing myself. I told server I was not going to butcher his beautiful native language and that I would order in English.  Everything was "Le" this and "Le" that...and I was being referred to as "mademoiselle." I was intimidated.

I had the six course meal (technically, I had 11 because my friend and I shared our courses with one another). Everything was executed so perfectly and artistically! 

1. Amuse bouche

-Caviar on top of succulent crab

2. Appetizer

-King crab with asparagus blanc-manger (French panna cotta) and season vegetables 

-Truffled langoustine ravioli with cabbage

3. Soup

-Creamy chestnut soup with foie gras and bacon foam

4. Main courses

-Beef ribeye, wasabi spinach and bell pepper medley

-Duck and seared foie gras with sweet and sour fruit

-Spiny poached lobster

-Pan seared sea bass 

5. Cheeses (the names were so fancy I couldn't remember them!)

6. Desserts

-Blueberry compote and lemon brulee with violet milkshake

-Raspberry with raspberry brandy and coconut foam

Bonus round

-An array of mini desserts (I actually started laughing after the man named the all these desserts - how could I remember which was which to order?) 

After the wonderful meal..."Le Bill!" This was hands down the most expensive meal I have ever had. Was it worth it? Absolutely! It was a mind opening experience and an incredible introduction to fine French cuisine. Joel Robuchon was hailed "Chef of the Century" by this native country...what more could you ask for?

The experience ended with us being escorted back out and driven back to the hotel by another limo. I felt like  a celebrity! I also had the chorus of "Lifestyle of the Rich and the Famous" by Good Charlotte playing in my head on the limo ride back. It was very surreal. It was only 48 hours ago that I was eating frozen dinners! 

I have included some of the pictures I secretly snapped from my iPhone (it is considered rude to take pictures in the restaurant). The ones of the bread and cheese carts were courtesy of Google Image :-)

From top to bottom we have the bread cart, caviar, duck and foie gras, crab with blanc-manger (and yes, those are gold leaves on the blanc-manger), ribeye, soup, sea bass, cheese, dessert and bonus dessert.